You’re looking at your current struggles as though they wouldn’t exist if you had not sinned that big sin. You are the crowned enemy, accepting your role as punching bag, ever careful not to fight back. You don’t feel like you have a voice because of your guilt. I’m writing to tell you that your guilt has been spotted. Your sense of obligation has been harnessed by another and you’re being taken advantage of. You are prey and your residual guilt is your kryptonite.
You wear your self-condemnation like a necklace because you want to make sure that they know that you know you did something wrong. Years of demanding some outward show of your internal acknowledgment has molded you into a shackled coward. You’re always wearing your Scarlett Letter so that you can use it as protection from those who would accuse. It’s a way to say, “This house has already been robbed.”
You have this idea of how things should be, but the only way to make it happen is if you and what comes from you is the sacrifice. Where is Jesus in you? Where is His sacrifice? Where is the the one who lives in No Condemnation in the house of More Than Conquerors? Where is your faith?
Maybe you need to let go of your utopic dream where everyone is decent and reasonable. It’s time for you to decorate your walls again. …something to fight for. Stand up and tell them that enough is enough. It’s their lack of faith, not yours. It’s their disbelief in grace that makes them burn you over and over and over. You were ransomed from this end. You are His treasure. It’s not about what you think of you, it’s about what He thinks of you.
You don’t have to be the punching bag for the bitterness of the faithless. People are tangled in their own damage and they’ll drown you in yours if you forget Who’s you are. Fight like you’re protecting what is His.
“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6 MSG