the lick of deception

Posted: December 19th, 2011 | Filed under: life | Tags: , , | 6 Comments »

People can fall into confusing spaces of deception easier than you may think. The individual response to circumstance is as unique as a fingerprint. Everybody has their own reasons for their choices and none of it matters in the end. Excuses and justifications are used in the hopes for granted permission to do what they’ve already done in their heart.

Circumstances and reasons only mean everything to you right now because they’re all you have. When you finally do, in action, what you’ve already done in thought, you’ll see them for what they are. You’ll see them as cheap bribes and you’ll hate yourself for being so easy.

You only have excuses because you have alternate choices. The fact that you have alternate choices is proof that you are being seduced by someone more sinister than the forbidden fruit dangled in front of you. The evil seduction goes deeper than the seduction of flesh.

Grace doesn’t give you permission to hang yourself. No one can tell you what to do. I’m not offering noose wrapping lessons. I’m not your Holy Spirit. I can offer you truth when you really want the truth, but I will not offer you an excuse.

You need to struggle. You need to make your own choices and go through your own journey. The only thing I can offer you is the advice to be honest. Maybe if you’re honest, you’ll get what you think you want. Maybe if you’re honest, you can deal with reality and stop running to your escape. Honesty breaks the locks and smashes the windows. It gets the attention where the attention needs to be. Honesty is the rock thrown through the mirage so that everyone can see what is fake and what is real.

When you’re in the middle of the stupor that comes before the jump, good advice isn’t really heard. Your spiritual location can be recognized by the questions you ask and the parts of your story that you’re focused on. You are a human being doing the best you can with your situation. Grace doesn’t give you permission to be selfish.

You won’t be able to handle the hell of having to forgive yourself. If you care about your relationship with God at all, your sin will destroy you. I’m not talking about socially, though that is inevitable. I’m talking about the fact that you will not be the same person that you are even now. That fact will surprise you, so I think you should know it ahead of time. You don’t know who the ‘new’ you will be.
If someone told you to do the right thing, the flesh part of you would reject it. If someone told you to go ahead with the wrong thing, your spirit would reject it. No one can tell you what to do.
Be honest. Be honest with yourself and with God. You can’t change your heart. You can’t make yourself do the right thing and reject the wrong thing. But you can be honest. Let things play out in honesty. The truth may be destructive, but the lies are infinitely more destructive.
Evil seduces. It sounds justified. But, I promise you that you will recognize its voice when all of hell is berating you and screaming at you from the inside out. More terrifying than that? You will think that it’s God. You will believe with all of your heart that He won’t take you back.
That is the lick of deception. Hell’s goal is not to get you to sin. That’s already accomplished. Hell’s goal is to get you to believe you belong there. That’s the fight of faith.
You may not understand exactly what I’m saying, but if you jump this cliff, know that you will see things in full clarity. That means that your justifications will make you feel mocked. You won’t be able to go backward in time to lock your doors and everybody will blame you because you wore your morals too short.
If this happens, please don’t let your faith in God’s grace fail. It sounds counterproductive for me to say it now because that’s one of the things evil is saying to you, too. Deception mixes truth with lies because it makes them sound more convincing. It will be hard for you to recognize the truth in the aftermath of your sin. The truth is: Grace wins.
The fact that you will doubt God’s love and forgiveness should scare the hell out if you. Because hell is separation from God, doubting His forgiveness is the appetizer. Dessert comes first in this meal.
You have more mistakes and pain in front of you no matter which path you choose. You would know exactly what to do and have the strength to do it if there wasn’t more to come. I know that sounds ominous and it’s because it is.
No matter what, you’re going to make it. Remember that when you’re lost in the woods and can’t find your shoes.
Keep fighting back, even if you feel like you’re losing.


6 Comments on “the lick of deception”

  1. 1 Tawni Miller said at 9:07 am on December 19th, 2011:

    And this was my story. It is a dangerous & devastating path to be on. Even those words are too mild to describe the pain. God never leaves you, even when every part of you believes that. He will always take you back & He has a beautiful new path of redemption for you to walk down. Trusting His ways are best is the first step. Do not listen to your heart & be led by your feelings. The heart is deceiving. You have to be intentional about making the right choices even if you don't feel like it. Thank you Serena for helping others see with the fog lifted before it actually is.

  2. 2 serenawoods said at 9:16 am on December 19th, 2011:

    It's a scary place to be when you don't trust anything anymore. There is a line from a Korn song (Korn isn't really my style, but the words are true) "Choke, choke again. I thought my demons were my friends. Getting me in the end, they're out to get me."

  3. 3 Jodi said at 10:15 am on December 19th, 2011:

    i hear you today, and it's loud and clear. Thank you sister.

  4. 4 Julie said at 7:02 am on December 20th, 2011:

    These were powerful words of wisdom. You paint such an honest, and true picture of what standing on the precipice of premeditated sin looks like… It is amazing how often we have the chance to turn away before we leap over that edge, yet, we consistently justify that jump with a million "yeah; but"s. This was awesome, Serena.

  5. 5 Charise Christianson said at 10:51 am on December 21st, 2011:

    Wow!! I cannot tell you how much I needed this. I am walking right now all of what you just said. Thank you for this honest & encouraging post.

  6. 6 April said at 10:48 am on January 3rd, 2012:

    My husband read this one outloud to me while it was my turn to drive on our road trip down to the deep South, Lower Alabama… my hometown. To visit family for Christmas. He does not read. So, I was impressed that he read this to me, that he wanted to… and we were both deeply moved and stirred to deep conversation about life and God and … it was good. Thanks for writing. Keep writing!

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