how do i know…?

A while back I started answering some of the questions people send me on a video blog. My latest deals with a reader who wanted to know if he/she was in the middle of an emotional affair. My video response deals primarily with being honest with yourself. The question alone alludes to the lack of emotional honesty within the asker. It’s common, but not something I’ll feed. Then I address the emotional ‘need’ that is being fulfilled by the foreign substance (in this case: a person).

As the survivor (spiritually speaking) of an affair, I have a much different take on the foreplay of a full-blown physical affair than someone who hasn’t overstepped the more obvious boundaries of adultery. There are so many ‘first steps’ that people take regularly that have my antenna up. I’ll list a few of the ones I can think of and call on some of you to add to the list. The point is to educate people who could be traveling down that path and still think their behavior has no real destination and doesn’t hurt anybody. This list is only intended to make you examine behaviors and be honest about what is behind them. I’ll only put a few to start so that you guys can build on top of it. The video is posted at the bottom.

• ‘Harmless’ flirting (even if you make sure to mention their spouse in the banter.)
• Private, unnessesary messages (texts, emails, etc.) no matter how innocent the content.
• You should be aware when you can be friends with a member of the opposite sex, but not with their significant other. (Real and cyber life. I have a lot to say on this, but may have to devote an entire blog to it.)
• You should be aware if you notice yourself dressing up a little extra or getting a little excited if you know you’ll see a specific member of the opposite sex (or same if you swing that way).

I’ll end my list there to leave room to add your suggestions (or experience).

This weeks blogs will mess around in this stuff a bit heavier. Please share your thoughts (privately or publicly) because my blogs often feed off of them.

Here’s the video…

vlog time

A reader asked: ‘How do I ’speak truth in love’? My own history with the use of this phrase makes me very cautious about the intent of the one wanting to correct or convict someone of behavior they don’t agree with. I think it’s a good thing to want to go about this the right way and understanding what the truth is is crucial. Here is my take…

how would you respond…?

A reader asks: ‘How would you respond to someone who tells you they are currently involved in an affair?‘