Posted: November 16th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, purpose |
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When I fell, I walked through years of condemnation and rejection. Those closest to me thought that they were making a stand for God. They wrote words to me saying that they were speaking the mind of Christ, “What hell to have to hide the truth of what you’ve done. Your guilty prayers of forgiveness are empty.” They enveloped me in hopelessness. They carried my bed to the other side of the gate and stood guard around the Cross. They would not let me near, but I was too weak to crawl anyway.
The fire raged around me. Entities that were not friends screamed at me from the inside out and from the outside in. I was being consumed.
They said that they believed they were doing what God would have them do. I know how it sounds and if ‘here and now’ is all there is, then they would be horribly and blatantly wrong. But, you must know, I believe they were doing what God wanted them to do. Not because it was right in and of itself, but because of what God brought out of it. I do not believe that God worked in spite of their mistakes. I believe that God wanted them to reject me, …even in His name. It was a fire of condemnation that needed to be fanned to rage.
Every single bit of false that was in me was consumed. I believed them when they told me that I could not be sorry enough to be forgiven. I believed them when they told me that I was further from God than I had ever been. The false that was consumed was the hint of hope that I could be sorry enough to be forgiven. My hope in myself, my ability to pay, and my ability to, in time, bounce back was destroyed. I, all that remained in all that “I” was, was completely destroyed.
It’s normal to think that kind of hopelessness is not from God, but I have been there and I can tell you that it was. It’s not because of them. Their words and attitudes are full of disgusting pride and fat on self-righteousness, but it’s not about them. It’s about what they were used for. The hopelessness that I felt was not a destination, it was a tool to get me to a destination. I had to feel every moment of it so that I would know what I was rescued from. If hell is separation from God, then I got to eat a full meal of it.
If I look at them without considering the sovereignty of God, then I am repulsed. But, when I consider the garden that grew where the fire once consumed, then my mind goes directly to a God. He knows exactly what it takes to break the steel chains of self-inflated lies that keep you from being free. I am a very strong-willed punk. It took a dose of hell to break me. Who better to use than the people who will discern His voice and obey? While I can see their lies, I can see the way God used those lies. I can thank God for it and forgive what they inflicted.
Sometimes God instigates a hellish time for you, but if your faith is nearsighted you will only see your circumstances and the purpose will be blurred. God hardened Pharaoh’s heart on purpose. It caused Pharaoh to make the Israelite’s life hell. When Moses cried out to God, “Does this look like rescue to you?” (Ex5:22, The Message), he wanted to know the “why?”. God made it clear that He wanted the Israelite’s to know what they were being rescued from, just in case they were tempted to go back (Ex6:6, 7:4, 14:4, 14:18). He wanted them to know who He is.
There is no point when God is not in on what is going on with you. It’s not about looking at everyone else and concerning yourself with how wrong they are. God is using every bit of it to lead you somewhere, or burn you, or break you. Do you want in on this or not? That’s the real ‘coming to Jesus’ moment.
Look at what Job said when he figured this stuff out:
You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit. Yet these things you hid in your heart; I know that this was your purpose. -Job 10:12-13
I love the way The Message puts it: “You gave me life itself, and incredible love. You watched and guarded every breath I took. But you never told me about this part.”
I am trying to get you to see that you cannot look at your circumstances, at the people who wrong you, or at your own failures and think that this is all there is. This is a moment in a lifetime of moments. In all of it, there is never a point where things get out of God’s hands. He’s God. Nobody wins against Him.
He’s not going to rescue you out of your circumstances. He’s using your circumstances to rescue you.
You build a shelter to sleep under at night. Then, you go out during the day to find Him. You look everywhere, working sun-up to sun-down, only to go back to your shelter defeated. You will never find Him until you realize that He is where you are. He is the shelter that keeps you covered at night. He sits where you’re real and waits for you to come back. He wants to heal you where you’re broken and you’re broken where you don’t want to be.
Though he slay me, I will hope in him… -Job 13:15
He wants you to trust Him like that.
Posted: November 14th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, grace, purpose |
10 Comments »
“Beware of being obsessed with consistency to your own convictions instead of being devoted to God. If you are a saint and say, “I will never do this or that,” in all probability this will be exactly what God will require of you. … The important consistency in a saint is not to principle but to the divine life.” -Oswald Chambers
People believe more in a necessity that life be guided by religion than they do in the reality that life is guided by the Holy Spirit. God is asking these people to do something they said they would never do. They’re tormented right now because the choice won’t go away. God is trying to teach them to trust His voice, but they can’t make it line up with what they think. And so they’re tormented.
God told Ezekiel that he had to eat something that would religiously defile him. Ezekiel responded by saying, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I have never defiled myself (Ez 4:14).” God couldn’t possibly be asking him to do this. But, He was. There was a much bigger purpose for it than Ezekiel could see.
He had to let go of his religion in order to obey the God of his religion.
God told Balaam to go somewhere that was ‘forbidden’. Remember the story about Balaam’s donkey talking to him? Balaam was doing what God told him to do and an angel stood like a road block on the path. The angel called Balaam’s journey ‘perverse’ and said that God was angry. But…God told him to go. It made no sense. A donkey spoke, Balaam was a mess, and the angel ended the conversation by telling Balaam to continue the journey. Balaam had a job to do, though he didn’t know what it was yet. He had to trust God’s mercy and he stuck as close as he could to Him. (read Numbers 22)
I know the fear and trembling that blankets obedience.
Peter had a vision where He was asked by God to eat something that would religiously defile him. He responded by saying, “By no means, Lord…(Acts 10:14)” God taught Peter that life in Him is not about the ‘don’t's’ and the ‘musts’. It’s about His purpose for you, but you get used while you’re struggling with Him, so it’s hard to see the purpose until you can look back on it with some distance.
Every step is a choice and we struggle to never misstep with the wrong choice. You know when God is leading you down a path you said you would never travel and you remain where you are in misery. You have to see, in these stories, that God sometimes does lead people in directions that force you to rely on His mercy and His grace.
When you are in that place, your life is not your own.
You are completely dependent on Jesus. You are exactly where you are supposed to be when you move beyond yourself like that. It gets easier to trust Him the more you let go. It feels unmapped, but it’s not. When you get in there, the map you’ve been using all along starts to become a lot more clear. It doesn’t take long before you find yourself chasing trails all over the map like it’s all new again.
You have to let go of the idea of what your life should or was supposed to look like. Here and Now life happens and you don’t get to write it. It’s time to step beyond yourself and trust that He knows what He’s doing. In that life of complete dependance on Him, you’ll lose the ties that are binding you. Sometimes those ties are people, sometimes they’re something else. You will suffer loss, but it’s only to learn what it means to say:
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”-Philippians 3:7-11
Posted: November 2nd, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. -Galatians 1:6-7
A woman was teaching a Bible study and had a pretty large following. She taught easy lessons that were relevant to mothers and wives and fellow girlfriends. She made the women feel connected to each other, to their femininity, and to their purpose as a homemaker. Everyone felt challenged when it came to being better at the business of doing better. They shared tips that work and offered grace to those who were having a hard time. Everything was great and they all got to a point of being satisfactorily productive.
Then the woman began teaching deeper Biblical truths about the Gospel. In her own personal studies, the Holy Spirit was leading her into a deeper understanding and was calling her out of the safe Christian bubble. She was drawn to those who weren’t in the bubble. Those who needed the community that she cultivated to branch out and show them what love, Godly love, was.
When she started planting the seeds within her group, they started to turn against her. It got too deep for most of them. It deviated from the safety of just loving the like-minded and they questioned her stand. These women wanted to be challenged to better at who they already were. They did not want someone to challenge them in grace for those who were different.
She responded to the harsh words and the ‘good-bye’ letters by backing away from the deeper truths and reaffirming her place in the feel-good cupcake world of perpetual insider affirmation. She started diluting the insight she received in her private time so that nobody would have to chew what she dished out. They were babies in their faith and fear pushed her to protect her followers from the pain of cutting their teeth. To her, majority rules. She abandoned the truth and perpetuated a distorted Gospel that was shaped by public approval.
The Gospel divides people. On one side, you have those who don’t want to think, they don’t want anything to change. They don’t think there is anything to change. On the other side you have people who are growing restless and want something more. Their gums are swollen and hurting and they just want something hard to bite down on. The reality is, those who are only after something to make them better ‘thems’ will bully anyone who reminds them that they’re not enough. They don’t like being reminded that the world doesn’t revolve around them. The self-inflated bullies outnumber the selfless wonderers.
The bullies appear to be stronger and carry more weight. The selfless wonderers appear to be weak and are often trampled. If the one teaching and leading them is too afraid of not being liked, then she’ll starve the hungry and coddle the selfish.
You don’t get to pick what to cut out and what to leave in. The Gospel is not easy to swallow. You can cut your teeth on it.
There is a litmus test for the potency of the Gospel. It’s something I use all the time. When I am sitting among a group of ‘insiders’ and am listening to the message that is being taught, I ask myself, “Would this have saved my life when I fell?”
I’m aware of this because when I needed the life saving truth that Jesus died to give me, I couldn’t find it. I looked for it in Christian books, I listened to preachers, I listened to Christian music, but it took me a long, long time to find anything. It’s when I stopped looking for Him in flesh and blood that I found the answers. I studied the Bible like my life depended on it, because it did. That is why I do what I do, I write like someone’s life depends on it. And I don’t hold back. I don’t care what the ‘insiders’ think of me because I’m after the outsiders.
People often talk about the importance of being in a community. That’s fine unless your community dwarfs your spiritual growth. You may find that you’ve outgrown your community and you can either step up, given the opportunity, or you can slip out the door. It’s not a spiritual requirement to follow a pack. It’s actually a scriptural instruction to not ‘confer with flesh and blood.’ I read something recently that said, “If Moses listened to the people instead of God, there never would have been an exodus.”
Sometimes God calls you into a wilderness where you feel disconnected from everyone else. Don’t resist this. The biggest leaders in the Bible (Moses, John the Baptist, Jesus, etc.) spent a long time in the wilderness right before they were brought out to fulfill their calling. It’s a time of shedding everything that is bogging you down and leaving you freer to do what you’re meant to do. You might even look a little crazy to people when you emerge, but that just keeps them at enough distance from putting the shackles back on you.
mr
Posted: November 1st, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: grace, purpose |
7 Comments »
Every once in a while, if you’re paying attention, you will pass a particular window. You don’t know it’s different until you’re right up on it. It’s something familiar, but somewhere you’ve never been. It’s a window to a view that you are not typically privy to. What you see has the power to keep your thoughts, questions, or even subconscious ideas from going off on their own.
To some people, I am a woman they once knew who sinned and disappeared. But, I didn’t really disappear, I’m still here. I’m actually geographically closer to all of them than I was when I sinned. But,that’s beside the point. I am this woman who sinned so big that they either pretend to not know me when they see me, or they find a way to make sure that I know I disgust them.
Or, at least that’s the way it was during the first three years after. Now they don’t know me. And I either never see any of them or I don’t recognize them when I do. I don’t know them either. We’re all different people now.
So here we are with a lot of distance between then and now, me and them, but I still think about them once in a while. Memory is a funny thing and I know this. I know that if our parting words left me with a negative feeling, it will taint the older memories and rob them of their purity. I really have to fight the demonizing of all of my memories with them. It is the human mind’s way of surviving their loss and nurturing my self-worth. It’s psychology.
So, I set myself up to fail at making demons of people who are done with me. I have a coffee mug that an old friend gave me for Valentine’s Day. It’s probably twelve-years-old and is chipped in a few places. Most people, when they have a falling out with a friend, will get rid of the things that remind them of the other person. But, I kept this mug. It keeps the facts as they are and not as my mind would make them. When I drink out of that mug, and it’s in the regular mug rotation, I think of who we were together when she gave it to me. My mind has already started to make her fade into a loss I can survive, but the mug reminds me of the innocence we used to have.
So, back to the window…
I was speaking at a conference last weekend when I met someone I had, until then, only talked to through emails. I immediately liked her. She had this dance in her eyes that let me know her sense of humor and my sense of humor were going to be great friends.
I’m not sure how it happened, but our conversation went from funny one-offs to her telling me a serious story about a woman who hurt her deeply. It was a woman whose sin looked a bit like mine. As I watched her talk, her idiosyncrasies started to look exactly like one of my old friends. Her pauses, the way her forehead moved with her emotion…. And then this window made itself known.
Everything she was saying was the same thing that people say about me. The pain, the betrayal, and even putting words to the unknown. Remember how I said that people’s minds alter information to increase the survival of their heart? She was on the others side of my story, telling me about her pain. I was who I am to my old friends and who I was to her at the same time. Who I was to her was sipping a glass of wine with her, who I am to them was peeking through the window as they had a conversation about me.
I think we both were peering through a window to see a view we’re not usually privy to.
Posted: October 31st, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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I’m not repulsed by much. I don’t get offended by things that are typically offensive. I am drawn to what is real and cannot connect with what is not. I see people who are so far away from what is real that they are no longer recognizable as people. They’ve become marionettes with public approval pulling their strings.
They dip everything in liquified sugar, coating what is left of their flesh and blood heart with teeth rotting shine.
That’s what is offensive.
Don’t talk about your pain with that Disney whisper and cartoon smile. Don’t use cliches as periods.
It’s offensive because you’re not trying to convince others, you’re trying to convince yourself. People don’t try to convince themselves of something they believe. When you seal off the broken places with cheap white paint, you don’t give anyone the opportunity to graft to your heart.
When a man prunes his trees, he seals off the raw places with a solution that never allows new growth in that cut off place. He does this to protect the rest of the tree from the trauma of shaping.
When God prunes His branches, He grafts the raw places together. One branch is cut from one area and grafted into a new area. Nothing is thrown in the junk fire unless unbelief makes the graft not take. This grafting goes against nature and it doesn’t make sense. (Romans 11)
God does not ask you to cover your broken places with the saccharine of self preservation.
A tree that has been broken, when left alone, will seep sap to seal itself off. When you are broken, let your cries of pain be heard. Don’t hide behind what you think you should be, rushing the healing as though saying it will fix it. You become a sealed off stump with no growth and no new fruit. The stump will have to be cut back even more so that new life can be grafted in.
Real is drawn to real. It relaxes the inner struggle of everyone else so that they can talk about their pain and find healing. You don’t have to mask your inability, none of us have the ability.
The ripped open search everywhere for someone who has been there. They’ve been debarked and ripped apart. They are the silent scream from the ditch by the streets with blood seeping from their pores and vultures catching their scent mid-flight. They’re passed up by people who claimed to know the Rescuer. One is getting his sermon shined. The other is posing for photographs. The other is getting his humanity trimmed. The other is baking cookies of sugar salvation for tea with fellow Ladies of Good Deeds. People who claim to know the Savior carry Him in a crock-pot right past the Ditch of Starvation and into the Halls of the Filled Up.
Maybe the dish they prepared was meant for the beggar they would pass on the way to their destination. Instead of reserving their talent for those who will celebrate how great they are, they should give it away to those who may not ever understand the treasure. They may show up late and empty handed to the watering hole, but the story of poured out love is so much more satisfying than an extra dish that just adds fat to the fed.
You can’t pour out if you seal up the broken places. You just become spiritually fat with the others who wear the same mask.
Posted: October 24th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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We are building who we are with every choice we make. We look around us and build with the materials that are in front of us. We’ve been building since we were children.
A point exists, as growing children, when we lose our innocence. We patch the hole and try not to lose anything else. We become adults with what we have patched ourselves with. Life’s wind billows through our trees and strips our leaves. Life’s storms rip off our shutters and loosen our nails. Whatever was poorly built will not stand when life comes knocking. Our cupboards don’t always provide for the visitors appetite.
Storms show us our weak spots when it rips through our walls and rains in our living room.
We’ve been building since we were children. Since before we knew what kinds of storms would blow through our existence.
As you journey, more and more building materials become available. The rocks from the hike, the steel from the fight, the paint from the vacation, the ideas of dreams.
There is a time to build. There is a time to demolish. There is a time to renovate. There is a time to add a room.
You are never finished. What sufficed before may not serve a purpose any longer.
Storms are never to destroy you, they are to help you get rid of the substandard supports and replace them. How do you know what needs to go unless you know what doesn’t hold up? How will you know what doesn’t hold up unless it is tested?
God brings us through times of renovation and rebuilding. He puts you in a tent until your house is livable. He limits you to one side so He can work on the other. One by one, He’s adding bricks. He’s adding paint. He’s carving pieces of art from what you thought was trash. We practice contentment while we’re sequestered. We get the hang of the smallness and He unlocks another door.
He’s a painter in front of a canvas and we peer from behind His back as His hand moves and His arm sweeps. His body bends and stretches. His head cocks and His eyes pierce. We can only see what He’s done so far, but He has a bigger picture in His head.
Posted: October 13th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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“We must learn that our individual effort for God shows nothing but disrespect for Him…” -Oswald Chambers
Sometimes God will make His vision clear for me and that is always exciting and scary, but very seldom do I know how to carry it out. I’m a risk taker when it comes to stepping out simply because I don’t have a lot to lose. I am not stuck in any kind of public mold mainly because I’m an odd size in that realm.
The moment that I become my own creator for my life, however noble my intent, is the moment I disregard Him. I can’t form anything in my life that He does not build and I can’t tear down anything that He has built.
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. -Psalm 127:1-2
We are free to be, free to move about, free from worry, free from fear, free from failure, because of who He is. Every step we take is a step we are able to take. Every brick wall is put there to guide us, not discourage us. Maybe, until you learn trust, you should shut your eyes when you walk into the unknown. Looking at circumstance can be very deceiving. It gets harder when you get closer. It’s almost like it’s designed to weed out the weak. It’s when the weak keep walking that they find the Source of their strength.
Our journey and all of its steps are inevitable. We can trust and enjoy the journey, or we can embrace the fear of uncertainty and complain the whole time. Your white knuckled grip on what you think you’re good at is what is hurting you. It’s not the lack of progress, it’s the lack of giving in to the ‘whatever’.
Take your day in its moments. If the sky doesn’t fall on you, then take a second to dance under it before you move to the next moment. You may not have what it takes to face tomorrow, but you do have what it takes to face right now. Tomorrow comes with its new ‘manna’. It doesn’t come until you need it. Take care of right now in completion and let the oil run out if the oil is going to run out. Resolve to get it over with and you’ll find that it’s never over with. Move to your next moment and you’ll see that you’re still alive when it’s over.
You aren’t going to mess this up. Your discouragement is proof that you actually thought you could do what you were called to do.
Let your discouragement break your self-strength. It will teach you to stop being a baby full of tantrums and self-entitlement. It’s all backward. You won’t be able to do anything until you are certain of your own inability to the point of no longer complaining when it’s hard. If you can’t handle the hard steps, you won’t be able to handle the easy steps without your pride ruining you.
Posted: September 14th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: grace, purpose |
15 Comments »
“Crisis always reveal a person’s true character.” - Oswald Chambers
It’s completely normal to start panicking when the house of cards falls down. You were so proud of yourself with all that balance and mad skills of engineering and near catastrophe avoidance. Enough success can make anyone hone their slick moves in the dance of ‘Yay!’.
But when the cards fall and the mess is made, we kick the table and remove our party hats. Back to being a ‘nobody’ and questioning our purpose. It’s the moment of failure when you realize that your faith was in yourself and now you don’t know how to get back to the faith that was pure.
The only pure faith is that which is in Jesus and all He is.
For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.-1 Corinthians 3:11
God sends the storm to show you what you’re made of. He does it on purpose. He’s not trying to crush you, He’s trying to show you where you’re looking. If you’re not looking at Him, you need to know it and this is the best way to do it. All He’s trying to do is get you to see Him, to see your need for Jesus, and to get you to stop relying on how good you are at doing what He called you to do. If you’ve been called to do something, thinking you can do it, He’s going to let you know how incapable you are.
For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all. -Romans 11:32
He makes sure you know what failure is. He does this so you know His mercy. It’s the only way to get you to stop relying on yourself to be who you’re supposed to be.
…it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. -1 Corinthians 3:13
If you’re relying on yourself, then all pieces of ‘you’ that are giving you strength will be burned up. There is nothing like a little dose of humility to keep you strong.
Failure is not proof that you were not or are no longer a Christian. See this is where the revelation of where your faith takes place. Faith in the ability to not fail will be met with the destruction of that faith.
- How do you forgive yourself? See what God is trying to show you.
- How do you ‘love’ the one who failed? See what God is trying to show you and them.
He’s bringing you out of superficial faith in Jesus and making it perfectly clear. Your need for Him and your inadequacy are all revealed while your faith is realigned to where it should be.
If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. -1 Corinthians 3:14
The reward is that you get to keep what was built right. You get to keep what wasn’t false.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” -Jesus in Matthew 7:24-25
The ‘words’ that Jesus is talking about come right before that verse. They are:
- judge the same way you want to be judged (verse 1-2)
- get the chunk of wood out of your own eye so you can see to remove the splinter from someone elses (verse 3-5)
- don’t waist your time on people out for their own gain (verse 6)
- rely on Jesus for what you need to fulfill what He asks (verse 7-11)
- do to others what you want done to you (verse 12)
- get life only from Jesus, not from how great you are (verse 13-14)
- beware of people who preach religion without the grace of Jesus. you know them by their love (verse 15-20 and John 13:34-35)
- be aware that not everybody who claims to know Jesus and does great things in His name are actually known by Him (verse 21-23)
This is what ‘a wise man’ builds his life on. Jesus is the rock. If you build your life of faith on those words, then, when the storms of life come, you will still have something left. That’s your reward.
“And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” -Jesus in Matthew 7:26-27
He’s not concerned with pushing you out, He wants you to get it right. He’s going to strum the strings that are out of tune, not to shame you, but to show you where you need some tuning.
If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire. -1 Corinthians 3:15
Failure is an out of tune string. How will you know it’s out of tune unless you play it?
Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? -1 Corinthians 3:16
He LOVES you! He’s making His home in you. He’s making you able to stand when life tries to knock you down.
If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.-1 Corinthians 3:17
He won’t let anyone destroy you. He’ll destroy them first. If you condemn another and destroy their faith you become an enemy to God. Remember, faith is not in self, it is in Jesus. Remind them of Jesus, not themselves.
God is the protector of all He owns, ready to fight for you when you’re under attack.
“Sing about a fruitful vineyard: I, the LORD, watch over it; I water it continually. I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it. I am not angry. If only there were briers and thorns confronting me! I would march against them in battle; I would set them all on fire.” -Isaiah 27:2-4 NIV
But, He doesn’t want to fight. He wants you ALL. Both the wise and unwise. The attacked and the attacker. God’s love goes far beyond the mistakes of humans.
“Or else let them come to me for refuge; let them make peace with me, yes, let them make peace with me.” -Isaiah 27:5 NIV
God loves you and because of that, He makes sure that you are not a crippled mess of half-baked religion and misguided faith. Sooner or later, we’ll learn the Truth no matter what we do. Everything is His, everything marked with the stamp of ‘Redemption’. Use your light of faith, your ‘saltiness’ to bring out the God flavors. You belong to Him. Take your lessons and grow into the art of beauty and let love drip from the fruit of your life.
Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, ”He catches the wise in their craftiness,” and again,”The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether …the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. -1 Corinthians 3:18-23
Posted: September 13th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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Esther was a little girl who knew her own tears well. She lost her parents when she was little and her cousin, Mordecai, adopted her. He was a good man and took care of her, but I can only imagine that she often wondered what her life would be like if she were brought up in a ‘normal’ family. I wonder if she laid in bed at night and wondered what she could have been if life hadn’t hit her so hard.
As a young woman she won a beauty contest and the prize was getting to be one of the kings wives. She wasn’t like the other women there. She wasn’t like anyone around her at all. She was put in a position she didn’t understand and never imagined being in. She wasn’t allowed to talk about her history because it would show her blemishes. She had to feel the distance between who she was and who everybody else was around her. Almost like an impostor.
People liked her, but she knew it was because they didn’t know who she really was. She was fine as long as they never found out.
Like Esther, sometimes God will place you in an odd position. It’s easy to feel the pressure of being different and it’s normal to wonder if you should try to find a way back to your comfort zone. Being different is lonely at times. It’s hard to imagine being of use when you’re not in your element.
But, think about the genius in this: There is a psychological edge when you are out of your element. It makes you more reliant on divine intervention. There is a relational edge to being out of your element. It keeps you at enough of a distance to where the voices of the people around are not in competition with God’s. There is a purposeful edge to being out of your element. When the time comes for you to go against the grain, it’s easier because you’re already used to what that feels like.
Esther, in order to save her own life and the lives of many others, was called to use the parts of her that deemed her ‘blemished’. It was what made her different that made her able to fulfill a calling that was much bigger than her.
God knew what He was doing with Esther and she made it easier by not trying to stay in her comfort zone. She didn’t know why these things were happening with her, but when the call finally came, she was in the perfect position. He had been positioning her the whole time. He had been training her and preparing her with the tools of her everyday struggles and spaces. It’s genius and it’s easy for us to see it so far after the fact. It’s much harder to see it when you’re in the middle of it.
It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to stay quiet until your call comes. We each have our own unique canvas. Some day, the parts of yourself that you would wish away will be the exact thing that is used for your life’s biggest calling.
Posted: September 12th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: purpose |
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Jesus was teaching a large group of people, people who claimed to be His followers, and He was telling them who He was. This was after He fed all 5000 of them with a child’s five loaves of bread and two fish. This was after He walked on water to get to His friends who were out in a boat. The crowd followed. They knew He could heal the sick, feed the hungry, and raise the dead. They wanted a piece of what He could offer, but the fact that they didn’t want Him was evident when He started teaching the hard truths.
He told them that He knew they were not after who He was, they just wanted what He could do. He called their intention out and exposed them. Instead of accepting the challenge and trying to get deeper, they questioned Him.
“What must we be doing to get in on the works of God?” they asked.
“Believe in the One He sent.” he answered.
It’s so simple, but it wasn’t enough.
“Do something to make us believe.” Dance monkey.
They mentioned that even Moses fed the people with manna and Jesus told them that it wasn’t Moses, it was God. And that God was pouring out the Bread of Life, the kind that won’t spoil, right in front of them.
They wanted that bread.
“Sir,” they called Him, “give us this bread always.”
“I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger and whoever believes in me shall not thirst.”
He told them who He was, that He was who they were looking for. But, they wanted something else. They knew Him, and He was too normal. They knew who His parents were. They reduced him to being a nobody, at best, and practically cannibalistic, at worst.
“Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.” He said.
They walked away, completely dismissing Him.
Jesus was one of us. He had feelings. He was doing what He knew He was supposed to do and He probably even knew how amazing, to some, and crazy, to most, it sounded. He spoke and they scoffed and He watched them walk away. He was telling the truth and nobody listened because He didn’t tell them what they either expected or wanted to hear.
Later, He was in His home town and there was a big party going on. Everybody went to it, but Jesus didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t either. I can only imagine that He wanted to avoid more rejection a bit longer and just be who He was.
But His brothers wouldn’t leave him alone. You can hear the sarcasm in their words.
“Leave here and go to Judea, that your disciples also may see the works you are doing. For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.”
His own brothers didn’t believe in Him.
They shared the same mom, they heard the same stories, but they still didn’t believe.
Jesus knew He was hated and He knew that people wouldn’t believe Him or in Him. He knew He would be betrayed and who, in His faithful inner circle, would betray Him. He knew He would be killed for the things He was saying. He knew it, but He still pushed forward. It’s why He came in the first place.
I, in my own very small way, can identify with the rejection that Jesus felt. Anyone who teaches about Him, and everything the Gospel stands for, goes through it, too. That’s awesome if you’re popular and you have a lot of people who affirm and approve of you. At the same time, you must know, the minute you start teaching what Jesus taught: freedom, grace, love… you’ll feel the rejection, too. People want you to make them feel good about all they do. If you take that away from them and count it as ‘clanging cymbals’ (1 Cor. 13:1) they’ll turn on you.
Everybody is looking for their edge, for a way to stand out and rise to the top. The best way, even in the religious world, to do that is to be better than everybody else. Remove the pedestal and they’ll curse you as they find their footing among the ‘least of them’.
Jesus IS the ‘least of them’. I wish everybody could see that.
Jesus knew it wasn’t His time to die, so He stayed back and let the predestined plan unfold.
Everything has it’s time.
Later, Jesus did end up going to the party. He stayed quiet for a while, but then began teaching in the temple. He says something that didn’t make sense to whom He spoke, but it does to us right now.
He said, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ’Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”
People still bickered about His authenticity. Those who believed kept quite out of fear of what the others would think. But we, now, know that He is who He said He was. We believe, and as a result, ‘rivers of living water’ flow from our hearts.
It doesn’t mean we’ll be liked or popular or that anyone, that we know about, will listen, but it’s still true. If you believe in Him, (and you, who do, know what I mean), then let it flow. When it hurts to be hated, consider yourselves in good company.
When Jesus felt hated, He still pushed through.
Besides, I really think we are protected from how much what flows from us really helps people. We’re protected from the slavery of pride. Don’t pay attention to who is coming and who is leaving. It’s just the inevitable balance to keep you level. Don’t focus on all the reasons why the vision He gave you is impossible. It’s always going to look impossible. Just tell the Truth and walk through all the details.
Keep going. Let it flow.
This entire post came from John 6 and 7. Read it.
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