finding hope

I think emotional hell is in the absence of hope. The product of perceived separation from God. With no God, there is no forgiveness of sins. There is an eternal weight of failure that you can never unload whether you want to or not. There is no sorry that is sufficient, there is no rebuilding, there is no remaining chance. There is no opportunity to reach the destination your entire awareness has been reaching for your whole life and hell is knowing you have more life to live.

Hell is being awake to feel the most dreadful things. It’s the cramping and convulsing of knowledge that you have gone too far.

It’s screaming from behind a sealed off room.

Hope hangs on if there’s a chance that nobody has heard your cries yet. However, if you are heard and still sealed away, then that is where hell is.

Hell is not in knowing that no one can save you. It’s knowing that no one wants to save you. It’s the belief that you are not worth saving.

Separation from God is found in your faith. You find the object of your faith when you find the reason for your hope.

• If you hoped in your capacity to succeed. Your god is your potential.
• If you hoped in your license to be forgiven. Your god is your worth.
• If you hoped in your ability to earn back your standing. Your god is your appeal.

I think God lets us feel hopelessness because it’s the ultimate purification of faith.

When you are at the very end of yourself and all of the things that gave you hope are gone. What if everyone washes their hands of you? What if the mountains, after seeing you, pick up their skirts and walk away from you? What if the stars stop glimmering and blooming flowers lose their smell? Where does your hope come from then?

No one to remind you, nothing to look forward to, no songs sang for you, no letters written to you. Nothing giving you value or, even, evidence of your existence. You’re the ashes of a burned picture, the footprints from an estate sale, an empty crematory incinerator.

Where does your hope come from then?

Have you ever been so lost that your own thoughts are a startler to the otherwise ‘nothing’?

Don’t be afraid to doubt what you thought you knew and question your faith. Doubting everything is the precursor to finding the authentic Truth. Don’t fear questions about what you believe. If the Truth is true, then no question can unravel it.

In all of your doubting, questioning and thinking, it must, at some point, occur to you that you do exist. If you exist, then there must be more. If there is more, then there must be hope.

If hopelessness purifies faith, and mature faith is the goal, then were you put in this place for that reason? You can say that your own failures got you here, but since when was Jesus death not enough to put an end to sin as the end? If sin isn’t the deciding factor regarding you, then it has lost its power.

He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. -Matthew 3:12

Where do they go from here? They’ve lost their good name, their faith in themselves and now sin can’t even define them.

He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned. -Matthew 3:12

The only thing left is hope because this time as an outcast has proven to be crucial. If you hadn’t gone through the dark, you would not know what you know. If you had no reason to doubt and question, you wouldn’t have found the answers that changed everything. There is always hope because not only does your failure say nothing about you, but it’s actually sovereignly used to make you real. And we need more real.

Let the Truth breathe new life into your death. When what you thought should have ruined you didn’t, then what is there left? Nothing but hope that your own personal hell has a purpose. Your faith has been purified and made mature.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. -James 1:2-4

| Tags: faith

keeping it simple

You have to think about what you believe, look at the way you express that and see if they line up. There is always a beginning of simplicity, but it’s so decorated with fancy speech, smart suits and flashy teeth that it becomes something else. Separate the affects from the requirement. Keep it simple-faith and practice-otherwise faith becomes ‘the result of practice’ and practice becomes criteria.

You know this has happened to you, this mix up, if you are telling someone that they have to ‘do‘ something to increase their faith. You know that you have stepped on the sidelines if you have perceivable standard for a believer.

When a person eats food, they must, somehow, put the food in their mouth, chew it up and  swallow it. As a result, the body takes the food, breaks it down, uses what it needs and gets rid of the rest. The only requirement for the person to receive the nutrients is to get the food in their body. If they get that one thing right, the other things require no discussion. They are all a given.

If the criteria is to get the food in your body, then the way you get it in your body is not a requirement. Your body breaks down food on its own. It’s an effect that is completely involuntary by the host. Discussing the requirement of that process as though the host had something to do with it is a waste of time.

We can discuss the methods of chewing and divide ourselves on the proper ways to chew and how many times to chew before we swallow. We can form groups of people who agree that the saliva begins the digestion process. We can even assume that those with the most saliva may have an edge on this whole process so we find ways to increase our saliva.

There are so many ways to separate ourselves over the process and so many levels of understanding that can polarize. Those who know that saliva starts the process feel smarter than those who think stomach acid starts the process.

Arguments about spit and bile. Crossed arms, furrowed brows, split families and polarized towns over a system no person can control.

This is what our ‘churches’ have become. Split apart, segregated, segmented, divided, opposed, offended, polarized and full of pride.

The requirement is belief. Some will say that you must ‘confess with your mouth’ and then ‘believe’ (Rom10:9). People can have a conversation all day long about ‘confessing’ until it turns into an insurmountable argument, but it’s like saying a person must get the food in the body before it can be digested. It’s a given. Take away the requirement for ‘belief’ and you do not have the requirement for salvation.

In the same way, you can no more tell your digestive organs how to do their job than you can tell your spirit how to come alive. You are a ‘new creation’ by no doing of yourself. If you could manage that process you would not need belief and with no belief, you need no object of faith. With no object of faith, you do not need Jesus. Anything other than belief is absolutely moot because it’s either a given or an involuntary response.

moot: |moōt| adjective: subject to debate

If there is only one point that is not open for debate, then that should be the only thing we stand for. The only thing we’d risk our lives, social positions, family alliances, finances and credibility on: Jesus is the Son of God. He died for the sins (past, present, future: ALL) of every single person and if you believe that, it’s yours. Period.

1) When you stand for what you believe, what belief are you standing for?

I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. -1 Corinthians 2:2 ESV

No amount of wisdom in practice or maintenance will ever inspire faith. Going to church does not save you. Refraining from any activity will not earn you ‘eternal life.’ Reading your bible, feeding the hungry, being ‘joyful’, an ‘example’ or any other kinetic energy will not secure your ‘inheritance.’

God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. … He will never give up on you. Never forget that. -1 Corinthians 1:8-9

If nothing else but ‘Christ and him crucified’ can save, then why would you stand for anything else? How do you stand up for the belief that Jesus ended sin as the end all? How do you stand up for your belief that Jesus is the son of God and He came, not to condemn, but to rescue (John3:17)?

When someone falls, do you doubt their salvation or do you thank God with them, over them, before them, after them, that Jesus paid for their failures? Do you stand up for your belief by refusing anything less than perfect effort and remarkable delivery? Or do you stand up for your belief by refusing sin as an end?

God stays beside us, keeping us on track. It’s not by what we do, it’s by Who is beside us. He never gives up on us. If you believe that, then show it.

2) How do you do that?

You don’t stand for what you believe by paying attention to yourself. That is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing. Stop trying to be something you think you should be and just do this:

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. -Colossians 3:12-14

Wear these things:

• compassion: tender mercy, tolerance and fellow feeling
• kindness: warm generosity, selfless concern for others
• humility: submissiveness, your importance is always second to all
• quiet strength: stamina that never lets others know the cost
• discipline: obedience and self control pertaining to these things

Do these things:

• even-tempered: easy going, laid back, not easily offended or quick to assert yourself
• content with second place
• quick to forgive

The way to stand for what you believe is to Love. Be disciplined in Love. Love is all you have to do. The criteria is found in 1 Corinthians 13. You cant’ escape the command to Love. Everything else you do is empty and lost without it. Resolve to do nothing else so that the rest can fall into place.

weighing down the truth with commands other than belief keep the drowning from the only thing that can save them. if they grab on to the Truth, the other ‘effects’ are involuntary responses.

he called, they came

If you haven’t read the first post in this series, please do. This post is built on top of that one.

…he went up on the mountain and called to him those whom he desired, and they came to him. -Mark 3:13 ESV

If God has given you to Jesus, can you reject it?

No, you can’t reject it, ultimately. You can run, but you can’t hide. Think about how many people you’ve heard tell their stories about running from God and God messing with their circumstances enough to break them and cause them to give up the chase. We always find comfort when people say that God’s relentless love outlasted their rebellious flight. God never gave up on them. He’s the breath on the back of your neck letting you know He could do this all day. He has eternity and you’re running out of breath.

If God has given you to Jesus, can you reject it? Ask Paul.

He set off. When he got to the outskirts of Damascus, he was suddenly dazed by a blinding flash of light. As he fell to the ground, he heard a voice: “Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me?”

He said, “Who are you, Master?”

“I am Jesus, the One you’re hunting down. -Acts 9:3-6

Paul did not call Jesus, Jesus accosted him on his way to kill Christians. Jesus told Ananias to meet with him and when Ananias protested, ‘The Master’ said:

“Don’t argue. Go! I have picked him as my personal representative to non-Jews and kings and Jews. And now I’m about to show him what he’s in for—the hard suffering that goes with this job.” -Acts 9:15-16

He was chosen, his circumstances were messed with and now he’s the author of most of the New Testament.

Jesus has a more direct answer to that question:

Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me. And once that person is with me, I hold on and don’t let go. -John 6:37

Unless He doesn’t know what He’s talking about, you can run, but eventually you will come running to Him.

Is it possible to not believe something that you believe?

That’s a rhetorical question. I want to get sparks flying in your brain.

Hebrews 6, The Amplified version, calls the following ‘advanced teaching’ and I have to agree. I hope I do well in explaining this scripture. It’s one that is often used against Christians who sin. Such use is so debilitating that it’s very important to me that I explain it well so that it’s not used to condemn people, but to bring them hope.

Faith is a gift. You cannot ‘believe’ without faith. The gift is irrevocable. If the gift is irrevocable, then you can never lose it. It’s impossible.

Insight (enlightenment) is a gift, faith (living water to ‘taste’) is a gift and the Holy Spirit is a gift.

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. -Romans 11:29

(I’m being redundant on purpose.)

Once people have seen the light, gotten a taste of heaven and been part of the work of the Holy Spirit, once they’ve personally experienced the sheer goodness of God’s Word and the powers breaking in on us—if then they turn their backs on it, washing their hands of the whole thing, well, they can’t start over as if nothing happened. That’s impossible. -Hebrews 6:4-6

You can’t ‘unbelieve’ something. It’s not even a word. You can’t go back in time and start from scratch as if nothing ever happened. It’s impossible.

Picture it like this: Jesus went through hell to bring you to him. He was humiliated and disgraced so that you didn’t have to be. If you enter that gate, walk down the path, then walk backward going through every step in reverse, you end up putting Him on the cross again. You can’t stand there at the beginning as though you didn’t know what lay ahead. You can mess up, you can fall, but you cannot ‘unbelieve’ what you believe.

I want somebody to ask about Judas…anybody…?

Judas was clearly given to Jesus by God, but he walked away. He sold Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver. The place where he died is called ‘The Field of Blood’ or ‘Murder Meadow’ (depending on translation).

The story of Judas sort of debunks what Jesus said about no one being able to be ’snatched out of His hand.’ That is, until you study the scriptures yourself.

God has a plan for everything and every one. He had one regarding the sacrifice of Jesus. Old Testament scriptures spell it out. Here is one of them:

Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me. -Psalm 41:9 ESV

Jesus was praying in John 17 and tells God that He has not lost one person God has given Him. With one exception.

I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. -John 17:12 ESV

God is not a liar and His word is final. Everything is orchestrated in such a way that glorifies Him and His word.

I know precisely whom I’ve selected, so as not to interfere with the fulfillment of this Scripture: ‘The one who ate bread at my table turned on his heel against me.’ I’m telling you all this ahead of time so that when it happens you will believe that I am who I say I am. -John 13:18-19

Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. “What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.” -John 13:26-27

After everything was finished and Jesus had ascended, Peter referenced this when they were choosing Judas’s replacement:

Peter stood up in the company—there were about 120 of them in the room at the time—and said, “Friends, long ago the Holy Spirit spoke through David regarding Judas, who became the guide to those who arrested Jesus. That Scripture had to be fulfilled, and now has been. Judas was one of us and had his assigned place in this ministry. -Acts 1:15-17

Just for thoughts, when a person ‘walks away’, is it from what they believe or is it from their church or some other part of the culture? You can stop going to church, stop reading the Bible, stop doing a lot of things, but deep down, still know and believe the truth. Many a Sunday morning couch is warm with the bodies of disenchanted believers.

You can run from your call, but eventually, you’ll run home. If you don’t believe something that you believe, then you don’t believe it. Once you know the truth, everything around you looks much smaller and you no longer fit. Denying it is asinine and it’s only a matter of time.

who called whom

It’s so important for you to study the scripture for yourself. There are people within the Christian faith who claim to be leaders and masses of people listen to them. They regurgitate whatever they’re told to believe. How will you know if you’re being lied to or mislead of you don’t know the truth? No man is perfect and everyone will get it wrong in some form or another. What they get wrong maybe you can get right. Maybe you can take what you hear that is right and add it to your own scriptural insight to get a better panoramic view of God and His ‘Kingdom life.’

Scripture is controversial, but mostly in the religious culture. If you can’t believe the Bible, then what can you believe? Sometimes we have to choose to trust the scripture in spite of our doctrinal upbringing. That’s not an easy thing to do, but your ‘real life’ depends on it.

Is it true that some people will not ‘choose Christ’?

Yes, it’s true. The whole thing, at best, sounds irrelevant to them. There is nothing you can do to make people see a need for Jesus in their lives. Any attempt that you make ends up making you sound like a self-righteous butt. If they don’t see a need, you try to poke holes in their existence while comparing their lives to yours. It doesn’t take them long to not want anything to do with you because of your ‘Christianity’.

The only way you were able to ‘come’ was by answering a ‘call.’

‘No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.’ -John 6:44 ESV

If you made the decision to become a Christian because of a lifestyle change, the desire to be a ‘better person’, then your decision originated with yourself. It’s not a conversion it’s a modification. You can decorate every aspect of your lives with His name, work in His name and pray in His name, yet still not have a clue who He actually is. Worse, He doesn’t know who you are.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven…-Matthew 7:21 ESV

How do you ‘choose Christ’?

You don’t. Nobody can come unless they are called. People can and do respond to the ’seed’ scattered by ‘the farmer’, but when the time passes, they will return to what they believe. (Matt13:18-23) The people who belong to Jesus leave a particular flavor to life that some are receptive to and some are oblivious to. Even reception is a gift from God. You are ’saved by faith’, faith is a gift and that gift is irrevocable.

“This is why I told you earlier that no one is capable of coming to me on his own. You get to me only as a gift from the Father.” -John 6:65

You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you…-John 15:16

You know how it works. Not everybody has this gift, this insight; it hasn’t been given to them. -Matthew 13:11 ESV

…by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. -Ephesians 2:8

..the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. -Romans 11:29 ESV

We respond to a call, we don’t initiate it. We are given faith, we can’t summons it. We are given insight, we can’t learn it.

But, can we say no if we’re called? Can we believe the truth but still walk away from it? That’s what I’ll write about tomorrow.

fiber optic god

Who is God to you?

We limit our awareness of God’s control by dividing that control among people and circumstances. We credit others with control and pray that God takes it back. God’s sovereignty has become a sentiment. Emotionalism that makes us feel better but still something that we hold out at arms length.

We cannot understand anything written in the scriptures if we don’t understand who God is.

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. -Romans 1:21-22

Are you faithful to God or to your idea of God?

When was the last time your idea of God was transformed? If we cannot comprehend the reality of eternity, then how can you comprehend the reality of God? How can you be in a position to lock in on an idea if you, at the same time, are aware that He is beyond understanding? We are creatures of habit, seekers of comfort and security. We all reach a point where we are unwilling to change, simply because we’ve gotten good at navigating ‘the way it’s always been.’

He is in control of our circumstances and we reject Him and what He is doing when we are in circumstances that don’t feel good. Our idea is that if God is good, then a perfect union with Him feels good. Jesus was in perfect union with God and He suffered immeasurably. Sparkly masks of peace and happiness are donned while the spirit underneath remains in the dark.

God makes no sense to our natural understanding, yet we still look for Him there. We dismiss ideas that contradict the trinket we’ve put our faith in. If your idea of God is not continually being transformed in to something less and less understandable, then you have latched on to a pacifier.

They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand. -Romans 1:23

Can you stomach God?

God is eternal. Eternity does not only stretch backward, but also forward. Time is something that humans use to make measurements, but we serve a God who is not bound by the rising and setting if the sun. God knows everything, uses everything, is in everything and has everything in His hand. God goes before you and follows behind you.

You are never off His radar and nothing takes you out of your path. Where you are is where you’re supposed to be. Where you are is crucial to who you are becoming. It’s not an accident. There was no big boom from which consequences and evolution ensued. In all of our theories and the beauty of science, we still cannot find any scientific explanation for how initial life began. It was a very specific purpose and set of events set into motion by the only hand that can create and sustain life.

He pays attention to every minute detail. Consider the the power of a single atom and all of the ways in which they come together to form the matter you take for granted. Are you, a unique code written on a strand of DNA, so faithless that you refuse to know your author simply because it makes you smaller than He? Would you prefer a Jesus who bounced on your dashboard?

Has the floor in your life fallen out? Where do you look to find meaning? We trace our steps and look for someone to carry the responsibility. You chose this, she chose that. Stupidity, selfishness, sin and evil. Where is God?

“God may cause our circumstances to suddenly fall apart, which may bring the realization of our unfaithfulness to Him for not recognizing that He ordained the situation.” -Oswald Chambers

Is your faith in a god of easy times and fiber optic blessing? Can you stomach a God who would allow your world to cave in because He had a reason for it? Can you submit to a God who doesn’t explain Himself? Holding God responsible for the happenings around you is your act of worship. You release yourself and others from the position of control and focus your helpless dependance on an eternal force who has set something in motion and will stick around to see it through.

Do you see God through yourself or do you see yourself through God?

He says, ‘Don’t be afraid.’ But, how can you not be afraid? He says, ‘Don’t worry.’ But, everything around you tells you to worry. If your own actions or the actions of another have the power to knock God’s purpose off its hinges, then you are worshipping self and/or others. You have rendered the Creator of the Universe incompetent, slow to act and trumped. How often do we do this? We become this frazzled mess while the rest of the world watches us completely contradict the things we say about God when all is well.

‘Our Lord is dethroned more deliberately by Christian workers than by the world. We treat God as if He were a machine designed only to bless us…’ -Oswald Chambers

It takes faith.

We are saved by faith. That’s why our faith is under attack. We are bombarded with a drugstore Jesus. We wobble on the stilts of an answer holder while secretly lost in a fog of confusion. We’re afraid and uncertain which results in us doubting our Christianity.

It takes faith, but faith is dead without action. The action is in the assurance. Assurance makes us behave a certain way. The behavior is not what is typically sought. There are a lot of behaviors in the religious community that can be faked, but this is something you can’t counterfeit. The behavior is the ability to sleep on the stern of a boat when a storm is taking it down (Mark4:35).

‘Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.’ -Job; Job 13:15 KJV

who’s driving?

Our faith in God’s sovereignty and understanding of the scriptures give us the type of freedom that removes fear and concern for our well being. A cargo ship that travels to its destination does not fuel itself, it does load itself and it does not fight at the helm with the captain of the ship. A cargo ship is a vessel that is put to work.

Have you given your heart to God or have you also given your life? Do you trust Him? Understanding leads to awe and release. Understanding knows that whether you let go or hold on, the destination is the same, it’s the contentment on the journey that is affected.

Circus act prayers and magic show petitions are unnecessary and redundant of an established truth. They’re evidence of an immature relationship with the One you’re naming while you entertain those around you with your impressive shut- eyed religious cabaret.

“And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

“The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. -Matthew 6:5-13

The Lord’s prayer is not a petition. It’s a proclamation of faith.

‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

Hallowed means ‘HOLY’

My mouth is filled with God’s praise. Let everything living bless him, bless his holy name from now to eternity! -Psalm 145:21

your kingdom come,

The main character in this drama…will ignite the kingdom life within you, a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. -Matthew 3:11

your will be done

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. -Proverbs 19:21

Job answered God: “I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans.” -Job 42:1

on earth as it is in heaven.

“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth has been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be has been loosed in heaven. -Matthew 18:18

Give us today our daily bread.

What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. -Luke 12:29-32

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

The parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 is an example of how our forgiveness of others directly relates to God forgiving us.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” -Matthew 18:35

And lead us not into temptation,

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. -James 1:13-14

but deliver us from the evil one.

The spacious, free life is from God, it’s also protected and safe. God-strengthened, we’re delivered from evil— when we run to him, he saves us. -Psalm 37:39

deciding fruit

Within in the church, there are a lot of things you can fake. You can fake happiness, concern, tears, even devotion. Galatians 5 tells us that you can judge a tree by its fruit. How many times have you heard someone call another a ‘good Christian’ because they’re always happy, nice to people, go to church all the time and don’t do ’stuff’?

They’re getting those standards from the ‘fruits of the spirit’ listed in Galatians. ‘Happy’: joy, peace, love, patience; ‘nice to people’: kindness, goodness, gentleness; ‘go to church all the time’: faithfulness; ‘don’t do stuff’: self-control.

I used to work at a salon and one day a first time client brought her hairdresser a plate of homemade cookies. We always loved that. We were all back there talking about how sweet it was that a first time client would go to such effort when someone spoke up and said, “That was so thoughtful! She must be a Christian.”

My stomach turned. I know what she’s trying to say, but what she’s actually insinuating is that unless you’re a Christian, you don’t have it in you to be thoughtful, kind, giving… There are droves of people who would describe the ‘Christians’ they know as biting, full of pride and absolutely disconnected from compassion. There are droves of people using those words because there are droves of people who call themselves Christians who have no idea what it is to be a follower of Christ.

The problem runs so deep, there are thousands of believers who won’t even call themselves a Christian. It’s become a bad word.

Do you smell that? It’s the Enemy’s breath. It’s evidence of lies and deception and they’ve become the defining factor. The lie is to look at the outward appearance. Are they smiling all the time? Are they nice to people? Do they go to church all the time? Do they condemn a long list of behaviors. Oh, they must be a Christian.

Or, to those on the outside: Are they self-righteous and judgmental?  Do they have a sense of entitlement? Are they easily offended, argumentative and biting? Are they divided and branched off? Oh, they must be a Christian.

Galatians 5 also talks about the ‘fruits of the flesh.’ ‘Self-righteous’: idolatry; ‘judgmental’: hatred, discord; ’sense of entitlement’: selfish ambition, envy, jealousy; ‘easily offended, argumentative, biting’: hatred, fits of rage; ‘divided and branched off’: discord, dissensions, factions.

There has been a misunderstanding of what the ‘fruits of the spirit’ are. It’s not about what you’re able to muster when people are looking. It’s about what you believe translating into how you deal when the situation gets real.

Non-believers can, at times, be better at displaying the ‘fruits of the spirit’ than believers. In the same way, believers can be better at displaying the ‘fruits of the flesh’ than non-believers. The difference between being and behaving is that you don’t make it a lifestyle. You can have moments of being ‘godly’ but unless God is in you, then it’s a fluke. You can have moments of being selfish, but unless Jesus has divorced you, then it’s a fluke. Moments, phases, bad years/good years are not a lifestyle, they are only part of life.

There is not a set of rules that you can follow to get this right. It’s what you believe.

Over the next few days I’ll break down into more detail about how our lifestyle is evidence of our belief. There are so many people who think they’ve got it right, but don’t. Their ignorance is wreaking havoc. At the same time, the one’s the havoc has wreaked are dying spiritually and I believe the truth will free them from the coffin they’re waiting in.

our charade

“Friend, why this charade?” -Jesus, Matthew 26:50

The story written about a Messiah has been thread through the scriptures since the beginning. The story foretold the murder of God’s son and when it finally came in to existence, the story played out just as it was written. The foreknown became known without one person forcing history’s hand.

“I picked you as a bit player in this drama of my salvation power.” -Romans 9:14

Every character played his role, oblivious to the big picture, at the same time, freely asserting his own will in the present picture. Every character played to Jesus as though God’s Son didn’t see the history markers take their place in the present. Every character thought he was doing as he chose. If that were not true, Judas would not have killed himself. Peter would have been able to not deny Jesus.

The fact remains that the plan is made and the story is written. The story of God’s salvation power made its way through the pores of Creation long before Jesus came. They have marked their prophetic spot in time.

David’s poetry came from his heart, yet it was still a prophetic echo:

‘Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.’ -Psalm 41:9

Judas took the bread…

Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. ”What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.” Judas, with the piece of bread, left. -John 13:26-30

The author of Deuteronomy thought he was writing Moses’ instructions for the Israelites, but he was also writing a prophetic truth:

Then all the elders of the town nearest the body shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley, and they shall declare: “Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done. -Deuteronomy 21:6-7

Pilate washed his hands…

So when Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but rather that a riot was about to break out, he took water and washed his hands in the presence of the crowd, saying, “I am not guilty of nor responsible for this righteous Man’s blood; see to it yourselves.” -Matthew 27:24

David didn’t know his poetry was Creation groaning at what was to come…

“MY GOD, my God, why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?” -Psalms 22:1

…but Jesus, Creator in creation, finally got to let out his own cry…

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” -Matthew 15:34

…and that cry continues to echo in creation as those who came and have yet to come enter into a life that echos the life of Jesus.

It’s an echo that pulses from a place that has no beginning and reverberates into a place that has no end.

All throughout scripture there is evidence of a divine plan that not only supersedes the will of man, but somehow encompasses it. We play our part in the story without ever knowing the story. We make our own choices according to our own insight and still, our free choice is swallowed up and used in God’s plan.

We know that someone is controlling things when we try to make something happen that won’t. We know the truth in flashes and moments.

It is written and when you finally figure that out, you will be free. Just as He intended.

[Judas] went straight to Jesus, greeted him, “How are you, Rabbi?” and kissed him. Jesus said, “Friend, why this charade?…this is the way it has to be…You’ve done it this way to confirm and fulfill the prophetic writings.’ -Matthew 26:47-56

ominous commission

I sat in silence as the second hand strained to reach the markers around the circle of numbers. The clock in the wall was encased in cheap aluminum and hung a bit too high. I wouldn’t have noticed the poor placement if the hour hand was moving like it was supposed to. I studied the standard issue numbers and couldn’t find anything amiss, but if I hadn’t studied the numbers, I wouldn’t have noticed the relationship between the minute hand and the second hand. Like brothers, they were close in size, but it was still easy to pick out the younger one. I guessed they were supposed to be working together, but the older minute hand was making the second hand do all the work.

I’m not sure what I pictured when I thought of his waiting room. I guess I didn’t really picture a waiting room. The stale, boring surroundings were definitely not what I would’ve thought. It’s like a doctors office that hasn’t been updated since the eighties. The waiting room is full, but not of the type of characters I thought would be in there. 

I had so many preconceived ideas and as I sat there, I started to question myself and my motives. 

I wrote him a stack of letters asking him to let me work for him. I knew a lot of people who were asked when they were kids. Most of my friends worked full time for him and they hired me to help out all the time, but I wanted my own job. I didn’t care what it was and after months of writing letters, I finally got a response. 

I pulled his letter out of my purse and stared at the three words, nine letters, that were scrawled on his letterhead. ‘Come see me.’

I drug the toe of my right shoe along the floor and tucked it under my chair. I refused to sit back as I squeezed my stack of letters between my fingers. Sometimes when you write to him, he doesn’t get the letters. Or, if he does, he doesn’t respond. I didn’t expect a meeting with him, but since I have no credentials, I guessed he needed to take a closer look. 

I showed up twenty minutes early and wondered if I should have. My heart was pounding, my eyes were darting and every time the door opened my stomach jumped. 

Finally I heard my name.

I jumped up so fast, it scared me and I my letters went flying. I didn’t even look at the other sets of eyes in the room. I just stared at their feet as I bent to gather them. I was embarrassed. I kept my eyes low and curtained behind my hair. Just as I was reaching for the last one, I saw a wrinkled old hand pick it up and slowly hold it out to me. 

The skin on his hand was a translucent, creamy pale. It’s the kind of old that you can picture positioned across the abdomen in a coffin. I moved my hair back to find his eyes and met a crystal blue. There was something deep and knowing and before I knew what was happening I was sucked in like the vortex of a black hole through the layers of what he knew. Despair illuminating peace. Evil bowing down to good. Lions, lambs, blood, shame, smoke, tears, sacrifice, keys, ….. the strobe light of disconnected information made me nauseous. I pulled my letter out of his hand and moved my feet into the waiting hallway.

The lights were bright in his office. I had a hard time adjusting my eyes. I could only see his shape and every time I tried to focus in on him, visions started filling my view and I couldn’t keep my thoughts in line with the confusing, wonderful terror and expectancy I felt in his presence.

I had my speech planned, but suddenly felt very small and ill prepared for the reality of who he was. 

‘How can I help you?’ His voice startled me. I’m not usually so jumpy, but considering… His voice was so normal in contrast to the rest of what I was experiencing.

I cleared my throat and started to speak. My voice sounded so foreign. Foreign to me, foreign to the room. It’s like hearing yourself speak in a microphone for the first time. It scares you into not speaking and you’re almost ashamed that your voice is the one making all the racket.

‘I want to work for you. I don’t care what it is.’ My hands are shaking and I’m thinking that my shoes looked too wore out for such an important meeting.

He didn’t respond, so I figured he was waiting for me to go on. I explained about my letters, my desire to work full time. I knew what he required and I was ready. I knew I wouldn’t have a life, but I didn’t care. 

‘Do you know what you’re asking?’ 

I thought I did. I’m asking to be used by him. I’m offering my life and practically begging to be given something to do.

‘What if I give you a purpose that you would never agree to, had you been asked?’ 

I don’t think he understands. I’m submitting to him, I don’t have an agenda. I just want to be used.

‘What if it costs you your relationships?’

All my friends are Christians. I don’t have any non-’related‘ relationships, so it’s inconsequential. 

‘What if you don’t get to pick the terms?’

I’m a clean slate. All of his questions don’t even apply to me….

‘What if you lose your good name? What if you lose your reputation? What if I really need someone to be a good door mat?’

Yikes. He digs deep.

I said yes. I thought about it and I understood that I could be completely forgettable, but I knew I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t working for him. 

I still couldn’t quite see him, but somehow I could feel him studying my face for a few minutes. It was like a father about to let his sixteen year old drive alone for the first time. 

His breathing was intoxicating and the long silence was heavy. I tried to sit still and seem confident. 

He took a deep breath and when he spoke, his voice was different somehow. I don’t know how to explain it. There was something new in it. Something more connected.

‘Okay,’ he nodded, ‘okay.’ 

So premonitory. If I could move under his scrutiny, I would have laughed at the weight of it all. I was clueless. It didn’t’ occur to me that  he knew something I didn’t. It didn’t enter my brain to consider that he may be looking into the future and seeing things that give him this sense of serious knowing. Of course he’s not going to tell me the specifics, but he did give me a few instructions. 

I’m writing this after the fact, so as I look back on this particular day, I can stand back in the room and look at myself, so naive to the way this whole thing works and watch as I agree, with everything in me, to be used and still have no idea what I’m getting myself in to. Even now, as I think about that and watch myself worry about my shoes and my letters, I wouldn’t change that day. And I most certainly would not tell myself what was to come. If I knew, I don’t think I could have done it.

I gathered my things and he started to speak.

‘Whoever finds his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39) 

‘I know,’ I say. I pause because he looks like he wants to say more.

‘I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.’ (John 16:31) 

He’s so ominous. I tell him I’ll be fine. I mean, with him on my side, who can be against me, right? I head to the door and when I have my hand on the door knob I hear him stand. I turn, just slightly and catch a look on his face in my peripheral. I don’t know what that look is, but it’s interesting that I can see him better when I’m not looking directly at him. 

The world was waiting and I was ready to take it on. I turned the knob and took a deep breath when I heard him call me. 

‘Lamb…?’

I turned toward him.

‘Don’t let your faith fail.’ (Luke 22:31-32)

I smiled at him, trying to show my courage, and walked out the door.

smoking gun

As Christians, there is one faith. The crux of our faith is that Jesus is who he says he is, did what he came to do and when he was finished, he said so.

He didn’t come to condemn us, the law does that already. He didn’t come to teach us how to live, he came to give us life.

Every generation has it’s time of wandering off from the truth and a fight to get back to it. We’re all taking our turn in the cycle. As long as we’re human beings, we’ll behave like human beings.The plight of a human is our aspiration to survive. We don’t even have to survive all that well.

The child who suffers abuse will begin to kill off the parts off her that make her wish for death when she is being hurt. This is how she survives. She learns to cauterize herself so she doesn’t have to be aware of what is happening to her. These children learn how to survive by living half dead. They don’t even know that’s what they’re doing until the inevitable ache to be whole comes around again. The miraculous tsunami of life tries to push through the scarred over wound.

I see the church that way. The innocence of truth has been manhandled and violated in the secret places and we’re spitting out half-dead spiritual children. Those children are wandering the streets chasing ribbons and ice cream with their dead eyes and bedridden hearts. They are our ache to be whole. Their cries echo behind the hollow laughter. Their songs and games are pinging off the hollow grave.

All the places we thought were dead are pounding on the coffin from the inside. The miraculous tsunami of life is pushing through the six feet of dirt. They will take the stand and have their voice heard. It’s time to listen. It’s time to sift through the religious clutter and root out the abuse and call out the abusers. 

I would march against them in battle; I would set them all on fire. Or else let them come to me for refuge; let them make peace with me, yes, let them make peace with me.” – Isaiah 27:4-5

The goal is for all of us to be one. One heart and one mind. The goal is for us to know our Father. Even the abusers are called to take refuge in God.

There is an enemy who pits us against each other. He uses the things we love, the things we want and the things we think we deserve. He’s cunning, he convinces us that it’s our duty as ‘Christians’ to maintain our position of opposition.

If God’s desire is for us to know him, then how far do you think he’ll go to get us to that place? Is anything off limits to the Creator of the universe? We’re all playing roles in God’s drama of his salvation power. We play into his plan like characters in a book. If we think we’re in control, that it’s our choosing or our sacrifice, then you may want to consider where God is in all that? God is not a puppet being pulled by your tempermental strings. You have your choices, but have you ever considered who is giving you the choices?

Human beings are delusional in their ego-centric god complexes. How do you think we ever come to a place of absolute submission to God? It’s by becoming aware of our matrix so we can catch glimpses of the unfathomable through the cracks of ourselves. How do you become aware of your cracks? 

What God does and what God allows is beyond us and still for us. He is the author and we are his creations.

You pretend to have the inside track. You shut God out and work behind the scenes, Plotting the future as if you knew everything, acting mysterious, never showing your hand. You have everything backward! You treat the potter as a lump of clay. Does a book say to its author, “He didn’t write a word of me”? Does a meal say to the woman who cooked it, “She had nothing to do with this”? – Isaiah 29:15

Is that grounds for complaining that God is unfair? Not so fast, please. God told Moses, “I’m in charge of mercy. I’m in charge of compassion.” Compassion doesn’t originate in our bleeding hearts or moral sweat, but in God’s mercy. The same point was made when God said to Pharaoh, “I picked you as a bit player in this drama of my salvation power.” All we’re saying is that God has the first word, initiating the action in which we play our part for good or ill. – Romans 9:14

Some of us need to have our self-righteousness leveled and some of us need to have our self-sufficiency removed in order to see who God is and who we are in relation to him and to each other. 

Jesus prayed for us right before he went to the Garden of Gethsemane. In his prayer, he asked God to help us fight to stay united. 

The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind—Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you, So they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me. The same glory you gave me, I gave them, So they’ll be as unified and together as we are— I in them and you in me. Then they’ll be mature in this oneness, And give the godless world evidence That you’ve sent me and loved them In the same way you’ve loved me. – Jesus; John 17:20-23

The evidence of your faith is not found in your stand pertaining to sin. Even unbelievers can agree with your sentiment on morality. The proof of Jesus’ message is in the the eating. The smoking gun of our faith is love.