The book I’m blogging through, “Soul Bare“, has three sections: Letting Go, Leaning In , and Hope and Healing. This is the last chapter in the first section. It’s written by Kelli Woodford. She titled her chapter “Of Old Mirrors and New Doors”.
You never know what what you’re in for when you start a new chapter of this book. You never know what the writer has gleaned from the pain. It didn’t seem as though Kelli was sharing as much about her pain as she was sharing about a moment, seventeen years later, when God brought the past to the present.
“My heart pounds, an old wound reopening” (page 66).
It’s tempting to compartmentalize sections of our lives as we get through the hard times and heal from the accumulated wounds. People forget about our mistakes, life moves us to different spaces, and sometimes you don’t have to take your reputation, your history, or your mistakes with you. Sometimes you get to let people assume what they want.
I don’t see anything wrong with that. I don’t tell everyone I meet that I had an affair eleven years ago. That would be weird. But, your life is one continuous story. It’s not compartmentalized and one dimensional. It’s full rips and grit. Like a work of art, it makes people feel something. And, because of that, sometimes God wants to show His work to someone who doubts His ability.
Kelli was looking for one part of her story, but God led her to one that had more dust on it. One that had her in pink corduroys and a mountain of pain to climb. From what I gathered as I read, most of the people in her life didn’t know about the girl in pink. Or that she, at 16, faced one of the hardest the lessons of her life.
“Learning that love doesn’t always mean holding on; sometimes, to really love, you have to let go” (page 67).
It’s not uncommon for God to bring up old wounds you thought were healed. It doesn’t mean that you’re going backward. Sometimes it just needs a little salve so you can move forward.
Amy Smith wrote the 10th chapter of Soul Bare. I’ll write my thoughts about her chapter, “Liquid Courage”, next.