It’s 5am and I’m making breakfast muffins for my kids. Today is the first day of school and everybody is nervous, including me. I think the older I get, the more sentimental I get. Or maybe the older they get, the more I feel like I’m losing them. I have a high schooler for the first time. So, I’m almost positive I’m a cliche.
I’m surprised 5am is being nice to me. I usually don’t get along with mornings. I get close to it at the other end, like staying up until 3am, but not this end. The sun isn’t even up.
My online friend, Jenni Clayville, is hosting an ‘Affair Week’ (actually two weeks). I don’t know if she did this on purpose, but she chose almost every ‘affair’ perspective. (click the names to read their stories) The first day was Justin Davis. He had an affair, hindsight showed him the hole in the accountability part of ‘community’ and is now creating something to fill the hole for others. The second was Trisha, his wife. She literally opens up her journal so you can see her pain and shares her hope. Sarah Markley shared her story of how she and her husband, Chad, had to divorce who they were before her affair. The good and the bad… Cindy Beall added her own story. Including how she was able to make room on her lap for an innocent little boy her husband fathered with another woman. She also made room in her heart for the little boy’s mother. Alece Ronzino opened herself up and told you why she chose to divorce her husband and is healing from the damage. Not an easy thing to do when you’re among ‘survival stories.’ Yesterday, Brian Clayville, Jenni’s husband, shared what it was like for him to not try to sweep his wife’s affair under the rug so they could be ‘normal’ quicker. He waited to say he forgave her until he knew he had so as to not make their connection emotionally cheap and forever wounded.
So, today is my turn. I am the adulterous woman in the worst case scenario. The scenario everyone wants to avoid or survive. Like a disease.
If grace wasn’t real, if the hell wasn’t so aggressive, if the hopelessness wasn’t so terrifying, I would live my life with a buried secret and let everyone think good things about me. The only problem with that is, I know for a fact there are others, like me, out there who are screaming silently to be saved and given another chance. I can’t leave them. I can’t let them feel alone. It was too real for me. Forget about what you think of me, I’m going out there.
Jenni is letting me take up two days on her blog. (I get long winded, so she had to spread me out.) Then, she’ll write her thoughts on my book and host a giveaway. Go check it out and, please, let me know you were there. If you need or want my book, then enter her giveaway. I have it sitting on my desk, ready to put your name on it with my fancy pen.
Have a good Tuesday, I’ve got to get moving!