With so many people on the planet, you face an overwhelming assurance that the intimate details of your life will not be witnessed. No one will know how good you smell or notice that first hint of your workouts making a difference. I watched a movie recently about a guy who went off by himself to survive in the wild. He started out with no understanding of the significance in relationships. What he learned in the process of exploring his limits and hidden abilities is that the joy in his achievement and mountain top experiences were hollow.
‘Happiness: only real when shared.’ -Christopher McCandless
We need to be known. To be seen. There is a world of people out there who will never know your intimate details. The freckles, scars and shapes.
I asked my sister-in-law about a scar near her eye a few weeks ago. The look changed in her eyes and she stared at me for a moment and then laughed. She said that nobody had ever asked her about that scar before. It meant something to her. It’s simple and didn’t really matter to me, but it’s part of her story and she got to tell it. Now it matters.
I have a freckle on my left pinky. I’ve had it my whole life. Of every hand I’ve held, gift I’ve given, and gesture I’ve made, no one has ever noticed it. The only person who has is my husband. It’s so simple, but it’s part of me. No matter how old I’ve been or what I’ve gone through, when I look down at my hands, it’s there. When my husband tells me he loves the freckle on my pinky, I know what he’s really saying. He’s saying he sees me like no one has ever seen me and he gets to be the one who gets it.
If we could slow down for a second and take the time actually see the other person, our relationships would dig in so much deeper. We wouldn’t have the emotional void of feeling invisible.
Emotional affairs are had by people who don’t want to be invisible anymore.
Imagine the difference you could be making in your marriage if you made sure your spouse knew they were seen.