drowning the girl

Posted: April 30th, 2012 | Filed under: life | Tags: , | 30 Comments »

I met a girl the other day who wanted a very specific haircut. She used two pictures to show me her ideas and they both required a brave hairdresser. I was her third attempt at getting the look she wanted. Nobody else would go short enough. “It will look like a man’s haircut,” they told her.

“Yeah,” she says, “I know.”

I loved the haircut. It was funky and bold.

I have colored a guys hair to match his prom date’s dress. Β I have dyed a chunk of black and purple stripes in the hair of a single mom. I get the fun people. I help them express themselves and some people have some important things to say.

Like this girl. She told me that her hair used to be down to her hips until recently. Nobody makes a huge hair change without a huge life change, so I asked her what it was. I learned that she had been horribly taken advantage of and traumatized in her first year of college. It was so bad that when she looked in the mirror, she wanted to see somebody different.

I knew she wouldn’t say she wanted to look like a boy. I don’t think she even knew it. It wouldn’t matter to her that changing her look won’t change what happened. Pointing out the obvious won’t keep her from waking up screaming in the night trying to regain control.

I didn’t feel the need to try to talk her out of a remedy that won’t work. I didn’t do that because that’s not what I think God does.Β I don’t think that God always tells the person with OCD that he doesn’t need to wash his hands five times. I think He makes sure he always has soap.

God meets people where they are even if they shouldn’t be there. If God never leaves you, that means that where you go, He goes. No boundary exists that He can’t cross. When you’re lost, He’ll find a way to let you know that He’s there, too. You’re never alone. You’re never really lost.

Love is the most powerful weapon for saving people. Love is strong enough to not have to wait for you to meet a set of standards. There is nothing more powerful than love. If there was, He would have used it instead.

This girl needed to feel more powerful than she was. To her, the most powerful person she could think of was the one who overpowered her. A boy. She needed to feel more like a boy and I gave her my best version of her vision.

She left practically skipping like the little girl she was trying to drown out.

She’ll grow from here, but she needed this pretend strength for now. She’s going to make it and I got to be a little part of dressing her up so that she feels safe again.

They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves. -Genesis 3:7

GodΒ made leather clothing for Adam and his wife and dressed them. -Genesis 3:21

God meets you where you are, even if you shouldn’t be there. He helps you survive where you shouldn’t have wandered. He does this so that you know He’s there and that He loves you. You won’t always be where you are, but no matter where that is, He’s there, too.



30 Comments on “drowning the girl”

  1. 1 liz said at 8:17 am on April 30th, 2012:

    loved this post–you put his love so beautifully!

  2. 2 serenawoods said at 10:38 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Thank you, Liz. πŸ™‚

  3. 3 tiffsmith75 said at 8:46 am on April 30th, 2012:

    OH wow!!! This was amazing. I love how God uses you to tell us about how HE really is. You strip away religion with your words and you give us the GRACE that is God. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

  4. 4 serenawoods said at 10:38 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Thanks, Tiffany. πŸ™‚ That's a great compliment.

  5. 5 Cheryl said at 8:49 am on April 30th, 2012:

    I needed this today. Thank you.

  6. 6 serenawoods said at 10:38 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Cool, Cheryl. Thanks. πŸ™‚

  7. 7 Sharon O said at 9:33 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Powerful, and so real. you could have showed her where her 'issue' was, but you allowed her to grow into her own 'discovery and health'… good job.

  8. 8 serenawoods said at 10:38 am on April 30th, 2012:

    πŸ™‚ Thanks, Sharon.

  9. 9 Jason Wert said at 9:58 am on April 30th, 2012:

    "God meets you where you are, even if you shouldn't be there."

    Thank God for that. If He didn't, I'd probably be dead right now.
    My recent post Video Blog Week: Suicide and the church

  10. 10 serenawoods said at 10:40 am on April 30th, 2012:

    It's security so you can deal and heal. πŸ™‚

  11. 11 Kaira said at 10:15 am on April 30th, 2012:

    I love that you were able to help her in the moment. <3
    My recent post Nightmares

  12. 12 serenawoods said at 10:41 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Me, too. πŸ™‚

  13. 13 Julie R. said at 10:16 am on April 30th, 2012:

    I loved this perspective… I love this God, this Jesus… this One who is with us wherever we are… ESPECIALLY WHEN we shouldn't be there… Oh, how my heart leaps for joy at the beauty and love of our Jesus.

  14. 14 serenawoods said at 10:44 am on April 30th, 2012:

    It's good to be reminded of how far God will go to save us. πŸ™‚

  15. 15 Charise Christianson said at 11:34 am on April 30th, 2012:

    Praising God for you and how He uses you as Tiffany said to show us HIS heart towards us. His is truly a love that is amazing and I am constantly running to it. xoxo

  16. 16 serenawoods said at 7:23 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    That's awesome, Charise. πŸ™‚

  17. 17 dawn said at 11:50 am on April 30th, 2012:

    I can't wait to share this post, it made me say out loud, "God, you are so good".

  18. 18 serenawoods said at 7:24 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    Do it. πŸ™‚

  19. 19 Alicia said at 12:41 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    I love reading your posts! They flow so graciously!! I'm always so blessed!

  20. 20 serenawoods said at 7:24 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    Thanks for the compliment, Alicia. I'm glad you like it. πŸ™‚

  21. 21 janelle said at 1:03 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    awed and speechless. you are dead on with your words and oh so powerful.
    you cut right through to the heart of the matter leaving me speechless with my light bulb moment….
    "…He makes sure he always has soap." Just WOW. ;D

  22. 22 serenawoods said at 7:25 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    That was today's 'zinger'. πŸ˜‰ I'm glad you liked it.

  23. 23 Emily said at 1:41 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    Love this! Thank you for the reminder that God always meets us right where we are! (…and I didn't know you were a hairdresser!! I am one too and agree that big hair changes usually do accompany big life changes!) πŸ™‚

    My recent post I Dare You…

  24. 24 serenawoods said at 7:26 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    Thanks, Emily. πŸ™‚

  25. 25 Heather said at 2:46 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    I have heard so many times that God meets you where you are. Your post shows us how. God's not limited in the process, for her, He can start with a haircut.

  26. 26 serenawoods said at 7:27 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    …or leather clothes to take the place of flimsy leaves. …or saving us before we fix ourselves. πŸ™‚

  27. 27 whittakerkid said at 5:23 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    love this it spoke to me !

  28. 28 sherry said at 5:25 pm on April 30th, 2012:

    this should not of posted under that name my g-kids were on my computer

  29. 29 cardinalsparrow said at 8:35 pm on May 1st, 2012:

    This is SO beautiful. I love the part about God making sure the person with OCD always has soap. I've so been there….

  30. 30 Lindsey H said at 2:21 pm on May 3rd, 2012:

    Loved this because I can completely relate to her attempt to drown out who she was, to look into the mirror and NEED to see something, someone different to get past the pain. Several years ago I changed everything about myself from hair, to clothes, to makeup, to gaining weight ~ all on purpose and all in order to NOT BE NOTICED EVER AGAIN in the aftermath of a destructive affair. Thankfully, God has wooed me back to being healthy and sure of my heart, my standing in Him… so that I am no longer afraid of being myself. I now can see & trust in His protection over me.

    I pray one day this girl can see the same.

Leave a Reply