“We must learn that our individual effort for God shows nothing but disrespect for Him…” -Oswald Chambers
Sometimes God will make His vision clear for me and that is always exciting and scary, but very seldom do I know how to carry it out. I’m a risk taker when it comes to stepping out simply because I don’t have a lot to lose. I am not stuck in any kind of public mold mainly because I’m an odd size in that realm.
The moment that I become my own creator for my life, however noble my intent, is the moment I disregard Him. I can’t form anything in my life that He does not build and I can’t tear down anything that He has built.
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. -Psalm 127:1-2
We are free to be, free to move about, free from worry, free from fear, free from failure, because of who He is. Every step we take is a step we are able to take. Every brick wall is put there to guide us, not discourage us. Maybe, until you learn trust, you should shut your eyes when you walk into the unknown. Looking at circumstance can be very deceiving. It gets harder when you get closer. It’s almost like it’s designed to weed out the weak. It’s when the weak keep walking that they find the Source of their strength.
Our journey and all of its steps are inevitable. We can trust and enjoy the journey, or we can embrace the fear of uncertainty and complain the whole time. Your white knuckled grip on what you think you’re good at is what is hurting you. It’s not the lack of progress, it’s the lack of giving in to the ‘whatever’.
Take your day in its moments. If the sky doesn’t fall on you, then take a second to dance under it before you move to the next moment. You may not have what it takes to face tomorrow, but you do have what it takes to face right now. Tomorrow comes with its new ‘manna’. It doesn’t come until you need it. Take care of right now in completion and let the oil run out if the oil is going to run out. Resolve to get it over with and you’ll find that it’s never over with. Move to your next moment and you’ll see that you’re still alive when it’s over.
You aren’t going to mess this up. Your discouragement is proof that you actually thought you could do what you were called to do.
Let your discouragement break your self-strength. It will teach you to stop being a baby full of tantrums and self-entitlement. It’s all backward. You won’t be able to do anything until you are certain of your own inability to the point of no longer complaining when it’s hard. If you can’t handle the hard steps, you won’t be able to handle the easy steps without your pride ruining you.