Posted: December 5th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: Bible study, healing |
8 Comments »
I love reading the different exchanges between the disciples and Jesus. He constantly tried to show them what this new life is all about, how God works, and how to look at things in a different way. I read these stories trying to understand what Jesus said and trying to understand why, sometimes, the disciples didn’t understand.
One exchange between the disciples and Jesus that I find interesting is found in John 9. The group of men passed a man who was born blind and they asked Jesus:
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” -John 9:2
That was how things worked back then. Sin, either the sin of a parent or the sin of a person, could be the cause of bad things happening to people. Many religions still believe this. They call it karma.
Jesus answered them, showing them that bad things happen for a bigger purpose. It’s about God, not about the sin.
“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” -John 9:3
Jesus made people think outside the box.
Jesus said that ‘the works of God’ would be displayed in him. More than the miraculous healing happened in this story.
When the Pharisees found out that Jesus healed him, they said that He couldn’t be from God because He sinned in order to heal the man. He healed Him on the Sabbath.
Jesus defied religious tradition.
Almost everyone doubted the man’s healing.
The religious leaders questioned everyone, including the healed man’s parents. His parents believed what happened, they had no choice, but they were too afraid to go against the religious grain to say it was true.
“We know that this is our son and that he was born blind. But how he now sees we do not know, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him; he is of age. He will speak for himself.” (His parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone should confess Jesus to be Christ, he was to be put out of the synagogue.)” -John 9:20-22
They were afraid of being kicked out of their church if they admitted to what they knew Jesus did.
The religious leaders went back to the healed man and told him that in order to give glory to God, he had to change his story.
“Give glory to God. We know that this man is a sinner.” -John 9:24
They called Jesus a sinner because he did things out of their order. They were the authority on what is of God and what wasn’t and they deemed the way Jesus did things as ‘not of God.’
They questioned him about how, exactly Jesus healed him. And the man did his best to answer them. They were pretentious and arrogant toward him. He shared what Jesus did for him, but was not able to make them get it.
“If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” -John 9:33
While he was trying to use their own understanding of how God works, they belittled him saying:
“You were born in utter sin, and would you teach us?” And they cast him out. -John 9:34
They didn’t like what he had to say. It contradicted their authority. It contradicted their religion. It contradicted the very thing that set them above everyone else, so they ‘cast him out’.
When Jesus heard what the religious leaders did to him, He found him and asked:
“Do you believe in the Son of Man?” -John 9:35
All this man knew is that Jesus was from God and He healed Him. He didn’t know who ‘the Son of Man’ was, but if the healer believed in Him, then he would, too.
“And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” -John 9:36
This is my favorite part. Did he already know? How could every part of his body not be ripping from him and leaning in to this flesh and blood manifestation of his creator?
“You have seen him,” answered Jesus, “and it is he who is speaking to you.” (John 9:37)
“Lord, I believe.” (John 9:38)
How could he not? Jesus made it impossible to deny.
“For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” -John 9:39
That’s an interesting twist. He made a point to reveal the Great Reversal. The least greatest, the greatest least; the last first and the first last. He ‘sinned’ to reveal Himself to the blind and utterly blinded the one’s who usually see.
The Pharisees were like gnats, always hanging around the fruit, trying to speed up the spoil with their constant cynical and antagonistic questioning.
Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, ”Are we also blind?” -John 9:40
Yes. Yes, you are.
If you actually heard the words of God as though you had something new to learn, you wouldn’t be in the wrong even though the newly revealed truth puts you in the wrong. The fact that you think you know everything well enough to not have anything new to learn makes you blind. Do you think it’s some coincidence that the truth comes from someone you don’t respect or even like? It’s almost like Someone is using every side of the grater to either shred your pride or make you fight with your own self-righteousness. It’s not just to mess with you, it’s a thermometer. Are you boiling? If so, then you need the medicine.
Jesus said to them, ”If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains.” -John 9:41
All of this happened to ‘display the works of God.’ It shows how things happen.
- Jesus defied religious tradition to the point of being called a ‘sinner’.
- Many people will doubt the healing.
- Some people are too afraid to speak up when it goes against the grain.
- Those who do, stand a chance of being kicked out of their church.
- Self-righteous people will use God’s name and your desire to glorify Him to manipulate you into submission to them.
- God uses the most unlikely (unworthy?) to reveal His truth.
- Self-righteous people will belittle you if you don’t cave in to their version.
- Jesus made the blind man see before he believed in Him.
- If you know you have more to learn, you’re guiltless.
- If you think you know it all, you’re guilty of what you don’t know.
You have to admit that you are blind. If you’re blind, He can make you see. If you think you’re not blind, then you’ll always be blind. Only crazy people don’t think they’re crazy.
Posted: December 2nd, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: healing |
10 Comments »
I watched a movie recently about cyber bullying with my daughter. It was a girl’s night and she chose the movie. It was one of those PBS projects with an educational agenda and I thought it was great. The girl who was bullied made me think of all the stories that find their way to my inbox. I also thought of myself. There was a point when the girl was on her bathroom floor in panicked sobs. The hopelessness and inability to escape the hell was familiar.
I’ve written about religious bullies before. They exist. They position themselves between the you and the Cross. The constant feeling of disapproval as they wiggle their way into making you feel like their approval is a requirement. I think most people have felt this way at some point. It’s just that church people can be the worst. There is no real sanction for people who think they are acting on behalf of God. It’s a nightmare if someone on a religious power kick doesn’t know who He is.
Have you ever been given a bunch of instructions to accomplish before you were allowed back into good graces only to get the sinking feeling that they don’t want you back? It looks like a set up to make it appear that they’re ‘working with you’ to cover their butts, and you are a rat in a cage.
Here is how you know that you are being bullied. It just takes one check on the list to qualify.:
- terror has been invoked (no terror like the constant threat of eternal damnation)
- you are belittled, often in front of others (efforts impugned, etc.)
- excessive supervision (micro-managing)
- blame is entirely on you (no one else did anything wrong)
- your opinions or questions have been overridden or brushed away
- your responsibility has been removed
- you are given demands that you cannot meet and/or the demands change without your knowledge, and you are reprimanded when you fail to measure up
- you have been ostracized or marginalized or excluded and no one will talk to you directly
- your failures have been spread in rumors that morph with lies
- requests for change, training, or leave have been denied
This list is a collaboration of information from various government and civic publications regarding bullying. It’s a huge problem that has received a lot of attention in our society and it eerily resembles what many experience in their churches.
The question(s) I’m exploring in my own head have to do with the difference between ‘church and state’. As I roll this around in my head, I have to wonder if God ever intended for His name to be used to terrorize people. God calls people out of their darkness with the love of His Son on the Cross. Not the scream of hell on their neck.
- God doesn’t terrorize people with hell, He sent His son to remove the threat.
- God doesn’t belittle people, He gives them His robe and jewels (prodigal son’s father).
- God doesn’t shackle people, He sets them free
- God took your blame
- God identifies Himself with you (Jesus became a man, he knows.)
- God doesn’t render you useless, He gives you a purpose
- God met His own demands on you in Jesus
- God excludes no one
- God has forgotten your failures
- God equips you with the Holy Spirit, gives you a new heart, and sets you free
We need to be less like domineering tyrants and more like God.
Read what Jesus had to say to a group of Pharisees who didn’t like His actions, company He kept, or the love He showed:
“Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also? For you tithe mint and rue and every herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. For you love the best seat in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces. You load people with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers. You have taken away the key ofknowledge. You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering.” -excerpts pulled from Luke 11:37-53
Then He walked out. (I’m picturing a microphone drop)
He was upset.
As he went away from there, the scribes and the Pharisees began to press him hard and to provoke him to speak about many things, lying in wait for him, to catch him in something he might say. -Luke 11:53
If they did it to Jesus, they’re going to do it to you. Don’t worry about them. Seriously. Even if you made your own bed of shame, clean your sheets and get on with it. Do what you can to make amends and, if it’s not good enough for them, then leave. I know that this is all hard to hear when it is your entire life.
Keep reading in Luke. Chapter 12 quotes Jesus warning people of not letting the poison (leaven) ruin you (bread).
After that He says:
“I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” -Luke 12:4-7
Further down (I’m on a roll):
“And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” -Luke 12:11-12
I guess I just need to close this by saying: Look at Jesus! You can trust Him. He loves you to no end and He will not leave you to fend for yourself. Read the scriptures. They all point to Him and He is your best ally, He is your best defense. There is more in those scriptures that can set you free than anyone can say to condemn you. Remember the basics: There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Whoever believes in Him will not die. You will have eternal life.
Don’t ever believe anyone who tries to take that away from you. And please remember, God can change anyone’s heart. He changed yours didn’t He? You can never count anyone out because He doesn’t. You don’t have to be around them, but don’t give up hope just yet. All the evidence isn’t in.
Posted: December 1st, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: divisions, faith, grace |
12 Comments »
Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back,… -Revelation 12:7
We know the war, we feel it in our bellies. Some will say, “Go easy, you’re treading dangerous ground.’ I say, “I will not go easy because I know the ground on which I tread.”
Some want things to be less controversial. The Gospel is controversial. They want the message to be easier to take. The Gospel wears a person out. It’s hard for the brain to stretch for the fit.
The war doesn’t rest. Coddling the status quo is a win for the other team.
Peace between good and evil is an impossibility; the very pretence of it would, in fact, be the triumph of the powers of darkness. -Charles Spurgeon
These things aren’t said to echo for no end. These things are said to wake them up, those who want to nurse at a breast instead of pick up a sword. If it hits home, then do something about it. It’s uncomfortable because it makes religious busy work look like kindergarten finger paintings. Countless broken people are out there and they need to know what has been done on their behalf.
The mother bird pushes her babies out of the comfortable nest to make them fly, not to kill them.
What would you say to the baby bird who clings to the nest and curses the mother? What kind of world would we live in if birds did not fly? They would be trampled by their predator.
What kind of people use His name, but do not know His voice?
“Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ’Lord, open to us,’ then he will answer you, ’I do not know where you come from.’ Then you will begin to say, ’We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.’ But he will say, ‘I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!’ -Luke 13:24-27
The ‘narrow door’ is Jesus. It’s so narrow that you cannot fit through it. You can do a lot of work in His name. You can eat and drink in His presence. You can hear His teaching your whole life. You can do all of these things and still not know Him. He’ll say that He doesn’t know from where you come. “Workers of evil.”
Softening this message is like censoring the Cross. Too many people are in their own personal hell and a censored message can’t compare.
A few years ago I was driving home from a Bible Study I taught at my church. A woman in attendance took issue with some things that I taught. I was praying and asked God, “How do I explain you to them?” I was having a hard time because I know what the message sounds like. His response was, “Don’t apologize for me.”
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” -Jesus, Matthew 10:34
A storm rages around an off-course ship. Are you a ‘beacon’ on the shore or are you the storm? A traveler chased a mirage into a scorching desert. Are you a well-keeper or are you a vulture waiting for your next meal? A soldier is wounded on the battle field. Are you going to drag him to the Healer or are you going to finish the enemy’s work with your bayonet?
The sailor finds the beacon only to not be dry enough for the lighthouse keeper’s fancy rug. The parched traveler finds the well only to be too thirsty for the stingy well-keeper. The soldier is too hurt to get out of the way while the others march past him.
Teach the sailor to be a lighthouse keeper, he knows the storm better than anyone. Teach the traveler how to draw from the well. Living Water never runs dry. Help those who fall on your path. They’ll be there to help you when you fall later.
The Gospel is divisive and can’t be divided. It’s divisive in the way the Sword divides flesh from Spirit. It can’t be divided because if you water it down, no one will recognize it. It becomes religious fluff.
“…when we preach the Gospel to every creature, the Gospel makes its own division and Christ’s sheep hear His voice and follow Him.”-Charles Spurgeon, Too Little for the Lamb
Posted: November 30th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: grace, hope |
15 Comments »
Like every baby before her, she was pale when she came out. Blue, almost. Before her infant screams invited oxygen to pink her cheeks, she already had a name. Her mother, tired from child birth and bleeding from nine-months of preparation, whispered her name before the sweat evaporated from her forehead. Mother and child, a mess of labor, both swollen from the trauma of new life, stared in each other’s eyes. And the new mother whispered her name.
Like every baby before her, she screamed through the night, stealing her mother’s sleep. Cradling her in her arms, she sang her name.
When she was three, she would spin to make her dress float up in a magical circle that made her feel like a princess and she would sing her own name.
The years counted her age, always the same day, always one number older. One by one, her name accumulated baggage. She could reinvent her wardrobe, she could reinvent her friends, she could reinvent her surroundings, but she will always have her name.
All of her mistakes were quilted into the blanket of life she was creating. Pictures were burned into the fabric like stains against her memory. The walls of her life are marked with holes from things she has long since taken down.
Her name on the tongues of others added dirt to the curve of the letters.
She made choices without knowing the future. She set faulty bricks with mortar. She put her name on shady lines with permanent ink. She said things that she cannot take back.
Her name has lost the possibility that was whispered in her mother’s hope. She’s a disappointment losing time and the will to keep starting over. Too many people know her name and memory stains every vowel and hardens every consonant.
What hope do you have when you’ve ruined your name? It’s been called out in courthouses, written in permanent delinquent files, banned from dinner tables, and mixed with the bitter spit of betrayal. What can you do when you can’t be who you hoped you could have been?
She would almost prefer to be called a slut. A slut has one purpose and none of her mother’s dreams. She is more comfortable with ‘Liar’. At least ‘Liar’ knows who she is. Her name has too much pang of wanting to be better.
Even if she lived the rest of her life with a firm grip on her best, her name is still written on the pages of history with every single mistake she has made.
The problem with being new on the inside is that the outside is still there. You can change your sheets, but you can’t change your hands. You can’t stop the flashbacks. You have to constantly remind yourself that your mistakes have been forgiven by the only one who matters. It’s a battle of endurance with a spotty cheering section.
“To the one who conquers … I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.” -Revelation 2:17
We have a horrible habit of taking names and attributing damage to them. You may have done a terrible job with your name, you may have equated it with words I’m too intelligent to write. I get it. I know the feeling and I have been called the names. I have done more things that I wish I could take back than things for which I am able to take credit. But, here’s the deal: This life is not all there is.
You are not what you’ve done. Even when trying your best, you’re going to screw it up. You have a new name somewhere out there and not even you can mess that one up.
Posted: November 29th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: grace, sifted as wheat |
12 Comments »
I know that my writing is challenging. I never thought it was, initially, but with the amount of feedback I get telling me that it is, I’ve come to accept it. It’s weird to me, sharing about God’s love and grace, to bump into the friction of disbelief. It’s not like I’m saying anything new. None of it is new, but I guess it’s just not widely or clearly taught.
When did Jesus get watered down so much that the truth about Him became offensive? I think the answer to my own question is found in how He died. He has always represented a challenge.
People can get by on diluted perfume for only so long. It eventually stops working and the stench of life is the only thing left. Every single person must arrive at a place of spiritual awareness that screams their personal inadequacy and reveals the need for something, or Someone, bigger. Salvation begins with desolation within the person. You must know death to know life. (Read Romans 11 for further study.)
Salvation is a mystery. We only have a few solid clues to provide a hint of understanding. What happens is that the implications of the clues are in direct opposition to human nature. Pride and self-rightiousness get in the way.
One aspect of salvation that is particularly hard to accept is the part where the individual has to know complete depravity, that is, they have to fully realize their equality with the worst kind of person before they can accept Jesus. The difficulty is the bastard child of ‘I would never do that.’
Further, one of the most difficult aspects of faith is when someone tells you that it is easier for the worst of them to accept salvation than it is for the decently average. That kind of message makes the chest of the decently average puff with pride. It’s as though the message takes something away from them. They’ve worked all day. ’These last workers put in only one easy hour, and you just made them equal to us, who slaved all day under a scorching sun (Mat 20:12).’
The message of the Gospel, the message of salvation, the message of Jesus, the message of grace is hard to swallow. It’s good news to some and an abomination to others.
The depraved are starving for truth and too weak to fight on their own. They drink from the Well of Salvation like gluttons. All the while, others are pulling out their guns with rocks for bullets. They are fighting for self, rationing the Truth and applying standards that were never imposed by the Gospel. They’re louder. They’re meaner.
The Gospel is the Great Reversal. It turns common sense, even tradition, on it’s head. It lets in the unworthy and demands brokenness. It’s easier for those who know their sin than it is for those who ‘have it all together’.
Grace Is For Sinners is making a conference called ‘Sifted As Wheat’. It’s a time and a place for people to come together and explore the magnitude of Jesus and His display of God’s love in such a way that will completely rock those who attend. There will be deep scriptural teaching to explore the truth and many opportunities set aside to ask and answer questions. I’ll keep you posted with periodic updates as the plans begin to come together.
I am excited for you to take this journey with me. I’ll be writing a book and a study workbook to be used at the conference. It will be like an entire Bible Study series in one packed weekend. The goal is to solidify the Truth of the bare basics of the Christian faith so that the rest of life can be lived in the freedom that Truth brings. This is me answering the call to ‘strengthen my brothers’. (Luke 22:31-32)
You can visit the conference website for more information.
Posted: November 23rd, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: aftermath, faith, grace, purpose, sin |
12 Comments »
Broken One,
I’m thinking about you today. Holidays don’t make everything better, do they? Holidays only stop the routine distractions that keep you from thinking and shove the reality into your tiny tent of safety. Reality echos off the emptiness. The things you used to bake aren’t welcome on that table anymore. Life goes on without you and you’re still here to feel the loss. They have each other and you have your emptiness.
Something I learned in that tent is that all the meaning I used to give these weeks of whirl are drowned out by the deeper meaning of what they’re really about. Instead of my ability to create a magical experience, I was whittled down to complete inability to right my wrongs and fix my mistakes. When I was unable to create meaning, Meaning found me. The removal of routine distractions forced me to see what had real Meaning.
It’s a quiet voice that won’t let you die. It’s as without effort as your heartbeat and your never ending breath in and breath out. You can’t stop life no more than you can create it. You can’t will yourself dead just like the dying can’t will themselves more time. The fact that you’re still alive is proof that you still have purpose. It all has purpose. The pain of emptiness, loneliness, and brokenness have a purpose and no one can save you from it. You may not know it right now, (I’m almost positive that you don’t), but your pain is your salvation…real salvation, not sentimental salvation. No one can save you from what becomes your salvation.
The fact that you’re still here is proof that your story isn’t over. That kind of hope is stronger than your strength to make it out of the desire to make it. You know you’re at the bottom when you no longer have the desire to make it, but life won’t let you go. There is still hope of rescue when physical death won’t rescue you.
I want to challenge you to reject self-pity. I know, at times, it has become your comfort. I know that self-pity carries a cheap hope that someone will see your eyes and do something to take your pain away. But, if someone can do that for you, then it alleviates your need for Jesus. Don’t do that. Don’t look to a person to do what only He can. I promise you, even though He feels like He’s keeping His distance, just like everyone else, He’s not. Your suffering is only for a moment in the big collection of moments.
Suffering from your own failure is aggressive because there is no relief to be found in guiltlessness. Guiltlessness doesn’t exist.
This is me offering a silent nod in your direction because I recognize where you are. I know how bad it hurts. But, more than knowing the suffering, I know the rest. I know what is coming and I have no doubt in your survival. I see your suffering as birth pains. You can’t rescue a woman from labor because you would take the new life away from her. Like a woman in labor, embrace the suffering with hope. Hope is the balm for the pain.
You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. -1 Peter 5:9-11 MSG
Those of us who have been through it, like women who can recount every moment of childbirth, sit and marvel at the miracle. You don’t fully understand unless you’ve been through it, and those who have love to tell the story. You’re going to have your own story soon. You’ll be able to sit around a table of Thanksgiving with new meaning and new life. All the old that you thought was real will fade in comparison.
Will you do something today? I know you don’t feel like it, I know it seems useless, but will you bake something? Bake something as a testament to the fact that you’re still alive. Eat at a table even though some of the chairs are empty. They won’t always be empty. Bake a meal as a labor of hope. It lets the wolves know that they have not yet sucked every last drop of blood from your veins.
Take this promise from God and use it to get through the next few weeks. I know it hurts, but there is hope. I know this because I have seen it. He knows where you are, that you’re in exile. He knows that everything has been destroyed, and He knows how bad it hurts. He’s not leaving you there, He’s making something new. He’ll never leave you, even if everyone else does.
This exile is just like the days of Noah for me: I promised then that the waters of Noah would never again flood the earth. I’m promising now no more anger, no more dressing you down. For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.” The God who has compassion on you says so. -Isaiah 54:9-10 MSG
The God who has compassion on you says so.
Posted: November 22nd, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: psychology |
5 Comments »
I love music. I listen to all types and there are certain songs that I can really connect with. Depending on where I am in my own journey, I can hear a song and it becomes part of the soundtrack for whatever phase I am in.
I heard a song a few years ago and it spoke so clearly to my level of understanding that I felt like I had a view into the singer’s heart. Since my husband is in the music industry, I get several opportunities to meet musicians that I have connected with through their art.
I had one such opportunity to talk to the singer/song-writer of this one particular song. He posed a question to God in his song and I asked him if he knew the answer. I had made the song my own and couldn’t wait to connect with him in his art. He answered my question by telling me what the question meant. It was so far off from what I had taken from it that I quickly exited the conversation and let him talk to the other people who were waiting to talk to him.
I was a little disappointed that what I had taken from his art was not a direct artist-to-artist line to his heart or the deeper truths that his art brought out in me.
He wasn’t finished talking to me, however, and caught up with me as I was about to leave. He thought my question was insightful and wanted to know more about why I asked. I led the discussion to the the revelation that a writer can put a bit of art out there and the readers (or listeners) can take it and combine it with their own walk to form something entirely different than what the writer intended. We connected on that level and it was great. What remained is that I took his writing to mean something that had more implications for me than it did for him.
I face this in my own writing. I write bits of reflection and insight and turn it in to a piece of art to be pondered. I write about things to make people think. I don’t necessarily write about where I am, but more often I write about where others are or where I have previously been.
People read, listen, or look at any form of art and they combine it with their own journey and it takes on a life of its own. If an artist, and I include writers as artists, produces something that hits too close to home, the reader/listener/observer puts their own thoughts into the artists mind and rejects them or accepts them accordingly.
A person can watch an actor for years in a series in which they never miss an episode. They feel like they know this actor. They know their laugh, they know how to tell when they’re upset, they know when they’re lying and when they’re being genuine. However, if you walked up to them in the street and proceeded to talk to them like you knew them, you would be sadly disappointed because you would realize that they aren’t the character you grew to know. You realize that you don’t know them at all.
You can read a book and feel so connected with the author that you feel like they know him or her. You can listen to a singer belt out the words to your heart so clearly that you feel like you can reach out to them and connect.
Distance between artist and the public makes room for fantasy. You have to understand that there is an amazing transformation between creation and interpretation. The transformation can be instigated by the creation, but the interpretation is a reflection of what is in side of you, not them.
I like when singers create albums of songs out of one hint of a moment in their lives. Pain, fear, rejection, and life-questions make the best art. I can listen to an album for the first time and connect with it because it digs deeply into where I am at the moment. It gives my experience a voice and I heal through the idea that I am not the only one who feels what I am feeling. My life carries on and grows into the next phase, but the album does not. Art does not grow, the interpreter does. When I am no longer in that phase, the album takes on another form. It takes on the form of something in the past and I don’t always connect with it like I did.
Art is a nod to a moment and very seldom, no matter how clear the message, is it a permanent statement of the artist. It’s a letter that your night time tears wrote, but your morning clarity rips up. Artists, instead of ripping it up, show it. Not because they are still there, but because it’s a piece of art. It’s a piece of humanity that gleaned inspiration from a movie, a song, a thought, something witnessed, or personal experience. Artists take their emotion without trying to make it logical or pretty, and they create something with it. The interpreter is only as good as their own humanity.
Psychology interprets art. Who you are on the inside determines what you take from someone else’s expression. There is an infinite distance with only a mirage of connection between the artist and the interpreter. It’s like the ink blot test. Your interpretation is not a reflection of the artist. It’s a reflection of you.
Posted: November 18th, 2011 |
Filed under: life | Tags: life |
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Last night, that guy and I went to see our friend play in his jazz band. We were in this popular little pub hanging out with waffle fries and creaky wood.
The bathroom stalls of these places remind me of all the times the stall has spun around me as I stumbled to keep up with the stationary. I remember the times when I would look up at myself in the mirror and see my bloodshot eyes making me not as pretty as I hoped to be. I was a girl trying to blur out a world that moved in a pace I couldn’t find.
This is a memory for me, but still a reality for many.
When I was in the bathroom last night, I saw something on the stall that made me a little sad. There are so many people who just need to know that they are beautiful, that they are a part of something bigger. They need to be reassured that life won’t always eat them alive. There were messages like that written all over the stall walls. Broken reaching out to broken. Broken lifting up broken.
And here is one girl’s response to the message of love that she found in one of the dirtiest places…
Posted: November 16th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, purpose |
17 Comments »
When I fell, I walked through years of condemnation and rejection. Those closest to me thought that they were making a stand for God. They wrote words to me saying that they were speaking the mind of Christ, “What hell to have to hide the truth of what you’ve done. Your guilty prayers of forgiveness are empty.” They enveloped me in hopelessness. They carried my bed to the other side of the gate and stood guard around the Cross. They would not let me near, but I was too weak to crawl anyway.
The fire raged around me. Entities that were not friends screamed at me from the inside out and from the outside in. I was being consumed.
They said that they believed they were doing what God would have them do. I know how it sounds and if ‘here and now’ is all there is, then they would be horribly and blatantly wrong. But, you must know, I believe they were doing what God wanted them to do. Not because it was right in and of itself, but because of what God brought out of it. I do not believe that God worked in spite of their mistakes. I believe that God wanted them to reject me, …even in His name. It was a fire of condemnation that needed to be fanned to rage.
Every single bit of false that was in me was consumed. I believed them when they told me that I could not be sorry enough to be forgiven. I believed them when they told me that I was further from God than I had ever been. The false that was consumed was the hint of hope that I could be sorry enough to be forgiven. My hope in myself, my ability to pay, and my ability to, in time, bounce back was destroyed. I, all that remained in all that “I” was, was completely destroyed.
It’s normal to think that kind of hopelessness is not from God, but I have been there and I can tell you that it was. It’s not because of them. Their words and attitudes are full of disgusting pride and fat on self-righteousness, but it’s not about them. It’s about what they were used for. The hopelessness that I felt was not a destination, it was a tool to get me to a destination. I had to feel every moment of it so that I would know what I was rescued from. If hell is separation from God, then I got to eat a full meal of it.
If I look at them without considering the sovereignty of God, then I am repulsed. But, when I consider the garden that grew where the fire once consumed, then my mind goes directly to a God. He knows exactly what it takes to break the steel chains of self-inflated lies that keep you from being free. I am a very strong-willed punk. It took a dose of hell to break me. Who better to use than the people who will discern His voice and obey? While I can see their lies, I can see the way God used those lies. I can thank God for it and forgive what they inflicted.
Sometimes God instigates a hellish time for you, but if your faith is nearsighted you will only see your circumstances and the purpose will be blurred. God hardened Pharaoh’s heart on purpose. It caused Pharaoh to make the Israelite’s life hell. When Moses cried out to God, “Does this look like rescue to you?” (Ex5:22, The Message), he wanted to know the “why?”. God made it clear that He wanted the Israelite’s to know what they were being rescued from, just in case they were tempted to go back (Ex6:6, 7:4, 14:4, 14:18). He wanted them to know who He is.
There is no point when God is not in on what is going on with you. It’s not about looking at everyone else and concerning yourself with how wrong they are. God is using every bit of it to lead you somewhere, or burn you, or break you. Do you want in on this or not? That’s the real ‘coming to Jesus’ moment.
Look at what Job said when he figured this stuff out:
You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit. Yet these things you hid in your heart; I know that this was your purpose. -Job 10:12-13
I love the way The Message puts it: “You gave me life itself, and incredible love. You watched and guarded every breath I took. But you never told me about this part.”
I am trying to get you to see that you cannot look at your circumstances, at the people who wrong you, or at your own failures and think that this is all there is. This is a moment in a lifetime of moments. In all of it, there is never a point where things get out of God’s hands. He’s God. Nobody wins against Him.
He’s not going to rescue you out of your circumstances. He’s using your circumstances to rescue you.
You build a shelter to sleep under at night. Then, you go out during the day to find Him. You look everywhere, working sun-up to sun-down, only to go back to your shelter defeated. You will never find Him until you realize that He is where you are. He is the shelter that keeps you covered at night. He sits where you’re real and waits for you to come back. He wants to heal you where you’re broken and you’re broken where you don’t want to be.
Though he slay me, I will hope in him… -Job 13:15
He wants you to trust Him like that.
Posted: November 14th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, grace, purpose |
10 Comments »
“Beware of being obsessed with consistency to your own convictions instead of being devoted to God. If you are a saint and say, “I will never do this or that,” in all probability this will be exactly what God will require of you. … The important consistency in a saint is not to principle but to the divine life.” -Oswald Chambers
People believe more in a necessity that life be guided by religion than they do in the reality that life is guided by the Holy Spirit. God is asking these people to do something they said they would never do. They’re tormented right now because the choice won’t go away. God is trying to teach them to trust His voice, but they can’t make it line up with what they think. And so they’re tormented.
God told Ezekiel that he had to eat something that would religiously defile him. Ezekiel responded by saying, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I have never defiled myself (Ez 4:14).” God couldn’t possibly be asking him to do this. But, He was. There was a much bigger purpose for it than Ezekiel could see.
He had to let go of his religion in order to obey the God of his religion.
God told Balaam to go somewhere that was ‘forbidden’. Remember the story about Balaam’s donkey talking to him? Balaam was doing what God told him to do and an angel stood like a road block on the path. The angel called Balaam’s journey ‘perverse’ and said that God was angry. But…God told him to go. It made no sense. A donkey spoke, Balaam was a mess, and the angel ended the conversation by telling Balaam to continue the journey. Balaam had a job to do, though he didn’t know what it was yet. He had to trust God’s mercy and he stuck as close as he could to Him. (read Numbers 22)
I know the fear and trembling that blankets obedience.
Peter had a vision where He was asked by God to eat something that would religiously defile him. He responded by saying, “By no means, Lord…(Acts 10:14)” God taught Peter that life in Him is not about the ‘don’t's’ and the ‘musts’. It’s about His purpose for you, but you get used while you’re struggling with Him, so it’s hard to see the purpose until you can look back on it with some distance.
Every step is a choice and we struggle to never misstep with the wrong choice. You know when God is leading you down a path you said you would never travel and you remain where you are in misery. You have to see, in these stories, that God sometimes does lead people in directions that force you to rely on His mercy and His grace.
When you are in that place, your life is not your own.
You are completely dependent on Jesus. You are exactly where you are supposed to be when you move beyond yourself like that. It gets easier to trust Him the more you let go. It feels unmapped, but it’s not. When you get in there, the map you’ve been using all along starts to become a lot more clear. It doesn’t take long before you find yourself chasing trails all over the map like it’s all new again.
You have to let go of the idea of what your life should or was supposed to look like. Here and Now life happens and you don’t get to write it. It’s time to step beyond yourself and trust that He knows what He’s doing. In that life of complete dependance on Him, you’ll lose the ties that are binding you. Sometimes those ties are people, sometimes they’re something else. You will suffer loss, but it’s only to learn what it means to say:
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”-Philippians 3:7-11
