a family of strangers

family

In the middle of a confrontation between two brothers, one hauls off and hits the other. The brother who got hit stands there stunned and hurt. The brother who hit wants to take it back, but can’t. He stands there and braces for the fight. Instead of returning the punch, the hit brother asks, ‘Does that make you feel better?! Go on, take another hit.’ Then offers his other cheek. His brother rubs his aching fist and shakes his head. It didn’t make him feel better. It made him feel worse. There’s no way he’ll take another hit. Especially when there is obviously no fight.

A girl sneaks into her sister’s room to take a shirt she wasn’t allowed to borrow. Her sister walks in and finds her wearing it. She’s disappointed, but instead of screaming at her, as expected, she says, ‘It looks good on you,’ and offers to loan her the matching shoes. Next time, she’ll just ask instead of sneaking around.

The sixteen year old takes his dad’s sports car out for a joyride. He’s not supposed to be driving with his friends in the car, but he does it anyway. He’s not old enough to drink, but he does it anyway. Fun and freedom got in the way of ‘right’ and his bad choices started stacking up. He knew he’d be in trouble, so he made sure to make it count. Hours later, the shiny sports car was wrapped around a tree and he was in the back of an ambulance. When his dad came in the hospital room, his shame hurt worse than his broken leg. He was ready to forfeit all of his freedom and make promises he fully intended to keep, but his father wouldn’t let him talk. He just cried and kissed his face like he did when he was little. ‘I don’t care about the car, son, you’re alive.’ He would rather have a son who could do it again than lose him over his mistakes.

A drunk was staggering down the sidewalk, into the road, onto the sidewalk. Tripping and cussing and throwing up. Everyone avoided her. Crossing the street, rushing past, ignoring her. Her brother was out with his friends and noticed the commotion she was stirring. People were staring, making snide remarks and showing their disgust. He left his friends and ran over to her. He threw his jacket around her bare shoulders and made excuses for her to the people as he lead her to his car. He’ll have some damage control to do in the morning, but tonight, he just wants to get her home.

strangers

If a stranger hits you, you hit back. Your honor is at stake.

If a stranger steals your shirt, you take it to the public. Let the merciless law teach them a lesson.

If a stranger stole your car and wrecked it, you’d be happy they were in the hospital. Serves them right.

If a stranger was stumbling around in the dark, jacked up on who knows what, you’d avoid them, too. They’re not yours to take care of.

body

“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” -Jesus, Matthew 5:38-42

But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ -Luke 15-22-24

But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ -Luke 10:33-35

Love is not limited to family, the command extends to everyone. You may not know  the other human being, but, because of the way Jesus set this up, they’re your family. You don’t get to pick and choose and you don’t get to look after your honor, your time or your stuff. We have to treat everyone the way we would treat our own family. The goal in the ‘ideal’ family would be to get past the differences sooner than later so that we can all sit down together again. You see the worst in each other and get past it because you can also see the best.

Something that you have to consider, is that when a person screws up, it shocks them as much as it shocks you. There is an opportunity to turn it around and use it to bond you closer if you look for it. Instead, we assume the worst and don’t know what to do with the ‘monster’ they’ve become to us. We turn people into ’strangers’ so we don’t have to deal with the pain of going through the recovery with them.

‘I don’t even know who you are anymore.’

You’re strong, they’re weak. You have to hold them up, carry them if you have to. You, as a self-proclaimed Christian, have to get past yourself and bear them, their ‘burdens.’ That’s how you fulfill the Law of Christ. The Love Law.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. -Galatians 6:1-3

and the winner is….

Julie Downing and Denise!

Congratulations! You’re the winners of a signed copy of ‘Grace Is For Sinners.’ Check your email, ladies.

Thank you for playing, everyone!! I’ll do another give away eventually.

(original giveaway post is here)

foundation

“You don’t get wormy apples off a healthy tree, nor good apples off a diseased tree. The health of the apple tells the health of the tree. You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.” -Jesus, Luke 6:43-45

We’re always reaching for that next step. If we could, we’d take them two at a time just to get to our destination. Our destination is that place of approval and importance in purpose. We want a show-n-tell for our efforts. We want to be recognized for our work. In chasing that, we neglect our foundation.

Your purpose is the task at hand. It’s the mundane sprinkled with moments of ‘extra-ordinary.’ If you try to make the ‘extra-ordinary’ ordinary then you become a thrill junkie. Right now is never enough. You’ll never be content.

Get a handle on what is right in front of you so that when that illusive ‘crossroad’ of opportunity takes place, you can move into it with practiced ease. When the ‘extraordinary’ task is finished you can go back to practicing in the mundane for the next one.

If you can’t excel at the small things, how can you be trusted with the bigger tasks you’ve been called to do?

The ordinary is your foundation. It’s the ground on which you stand. If you only tend to the larger things, the things that get noticed, you lose everything when your foundation crumbles.

Practice. Get a grip on what you have. Practice with what is right in front of you so that you’ll be ready when the big stuff comes.

Approval comes with disapproval. Popularity comes with infamy. Your importance is gauged by your foundation. How can you handle with wind on the mountain if you aren’t burrowed into it? How can you take the slander out in the world if you don’t know who you are at home?

Life’s tests are like fire burning up the cheap materials and leaving what it solid. The better your foundation, the more that will be left standing when it’s your turn to get hit.

To put it practically: A well tended marriage, well cared for kids and a smoothly running home make for a safe place to land when the world bites at your back and chips away at your self-worth.

Or, to put it another way, you are God’s house. Using the gift God gave me as a good architect, I designed blueprints; Apollos is putting up the walls. Let each carpenter who comes on the job take care to build on the foundation! Remember, there is only one foundation, the one already laid: Jesus Christ. Take particular care in picking out your building materials. Eventually there is going to be an inspection. If you use cheap or inferior materials, you’ll be found out. The inspection will be thorough and rigorous. You won’t get by with a thing. If your work passes inspection, fine; if it doesn’t, your part of the building will be torn out and started over. -1 Corinthians 3:9-15

don’t forget to enter to win a free signed copy of ‘Grace Is For Sinners‘!! Click here to check it out.

trail of grace

The only person who would hold a person down when they fell is the one who had something to gain from that fall.

There is this wildly competitive spirit in the sub-culture of Christianity. Everyone wants to be blameless and above reproach. Most are taught to live their lives in a way that nobody can have doubts about them. Father’s teach their children that the unbelieving world is watching them all the time and they must not give them a reason to discredit their Christianity. They say that, even if you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s wrong if you make people doubt you or God. This people pleasing mentality is even given that high gloss sheen of extreme righteousness. If the sheen is glossy enough, it can glare out the ’self’ in self-righteous and keep people blinded and disoriented enough to not know why the whole thing feels so wrong.

It’s because it is wrong. Bizarre behavior of forced spirituality and the pressure to fake it, too. Get out. There is something real and something deep inside you knows it. Get away from the counterfeit other wise ‘those who wait on the Lord’ will start to settle for the High School melodrama version.

If you’re someone who has been ejected from that merry-go-round, sit back for a while and take inventory of what you can see now. You’ve fallen and instead of helping you up, like they preach, they spit condemnation at you. They don’t want you back on their toy. Now you can see the holes in the faith system. You may have been aware of them before, but there’s nothing like falling through one to get you to care about it.

Now look at those who refuse to show you grace. Instead of assuming they’re speaking for God, think about what they may have to gain from your failure. Even the comparison is enough for some  to list your faults and failures. It elevates them to decrease you. Did they gain relationships from your fall? Relationships that used to belong to you?

No one would refuse to offer you unshackled grace unless they were afraid of what you could reveal about them or what you could take away from them. God’s grace doesn’t only affect the the recipient, it realigns the entire group. Some see that coming and they’re terrified of it. Their terrified of losing the ground and honor.

This tyrannic behavior can’t last long, however. People are watching and they need to start taking steps to build a bridge. They don the white hat and tie while they make others do the work. They load you down with self doubt and expectations that they’re hoping you can never navigate properly. Their hand is on the button to get the wrecking ball swinging again and you’re left dancing to avoid his flying bullets. They never intend to bring you back, they just want to make it look like they’re trying and you’re still failing.

They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn’t think of lifting a finger to help. Their lives are perpetual fashion shows, embroidered prayer shawls one day and flowery prayers the next. They love to sit at the head table at church dinners, basking in the most prominent positions, preening in the radiance of public flattery, receiving honorary degrees, and getting called ‘Doctor’ and ‘Reverend.’ -Jesus, Matthew 23:4-7

You don’t have to worry about relying on people to set things right. God’s hands aren’t tied and this suffering won’t last forever. Not one second of ignorant people using God’s name to torture you in the dark has gone unnoticed. He sticks up for the broken and abused. A victim can quickly become a tormentor if they don’t trust that God can handle their vengeance better than they can. God appears to delay and men become impatient with the pain. Don’t weaken the end result by taking bits and pieces of payback into your own hands. Stop the vicious cycle by letting them take the allegorical swings. They’re tallied. When they have to answer for their behavior, they’ll have the same choice that you did when you were called out. You can answer for yourself, relying on your own ability to debate and hope God can’t see the recesses of your heart, or you can let Jesus answer for you.

You have to be ready for them to (and hope that they will) get off without punishment. The way to do this is to remind yourself of what it was like to be aware of your own dark heart with nothing in you to make it go away. You have to remember what it was like to receive grace because the actual experience removes the fear that setting someone free only frees them to hurt you more. It doesn’t  and those who have been there know this. It changes you. Be ready for their own ‘burning’ during that ‘purifying’ process and make a point to be one of the first to go on record as one who loves them and believes in them.

Bide your time leaving a trail to peace. Carry your basket of stars and leave them clues that you believed in them all along. In this horrible time of feeling like you’re underneath them, maybe you can distract yourself by making preparations for the party when the hell is over.

roar

the well within her is deep

countless lovers leave her cheap

the goat wants to be a sheep

failure’s seeds. pain’s harvest reap

bundles stacked up in a heap

♥

she draws water for her tongue

like the kill she’s almost strung

her book of songs is unsung

lost from dreams to which she clung

once a child, but never young

♥

He’s here now, making her think

His glory, showing her stink

sin writes with permanent ink

He can tell she’s on the brink

from His well, offers a drink

♥

drink from me. thirst no more

I’ll transform the weeds you bore

you’re my daughter, not a whore

rest while I settle the score

beasts can growl, but I can roar

♥

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inspired by the woman at the well in John 4.

my translation

Yesterday’s blog threw a few of you and as much as I like throwing people around, I actually had a message in there. I put this in a comment, but think it’s worth posting as today’s blog.

This is one of my more lyrical/poetic writings. Sometimes I feel like I’m chasing a ribbon of words and trying to nail it down. Interpretation is open, but I’ll give you my thought process.

The beginning is a play on a circus. Religion being the circus.

Stop juggling, stop the show boat tricks and get real.

You can be real because this whole thing, life, isn’t about you or me…

Now that you are real…what do you want? Do you want to cuss and spit just to try it? Do it.

God puts desires into our heart (‘He gives us the desires of our heart….’). If that’s true, then after you’ve taken inventory or what you ‘want’ then you can sift out the stuff that isn’t for you and explore the things that may not look like everything you’ve been taught in the circus, but are still a part of who you are.

When you have this ‘real’ internal exploration, you’ll find God there. You’ll find urges that you actually have the power to choose or dismiss. You’ll find unique gifts and a unique voice that you never would have found if you hadn’t stop the charade.

He set us free to find out how things work and in the ‘finding’ you’ll find Him.

When you set a group of people (who have the Spirit of God inside them) free to do as they please, they’re not going to run for Hell. They’re going to find their legs and run to Him.

I wrote this because of the overwhelming fear that resides in the hearts so many professed Christians. They’re afraid of what will happen if they ‘let go of the wheel.’ If they’re afraid, then they must not believe that He is actually driving.

Let go and find the truth. It’s beautiful. It’s laced with skinned knees and messy hair, but it’s real and it’s free and it’s where He wants you to be.

Picture an adult, racked with stress and discouragement. Now, turn that adult into a kid and watch him play, explore, get grass stains and a few new scars. See the sun freckle his face and twigs stick in his hair.

Some of my best childhood afternoons left me with a scar I can still see twenty-five years later. If a child is afraid of falling, he’ll never play. REALLY play.

I’m just saying, PLAY! He’ll take care of the ‘holy’, ‘pure’ and ’sanctified’ parts. He’s got you covered. Be free.

Bible Study launch

We’re launching an online (video chat) Bible Study on the ‘Grace Is For Sinners’ community website. If you’re interested, let me know so you can help pick the time and day of the week that works best for you.

The community website is private so you have to be a member to see what anyone says on there. We’ll be using the ‘Grace Is For Sinners’ curriculum that goes along with the book. It’s challenging and the conversations get deep!

If you’re interested in seeing what the Bible says about sin, grace, restoration and God’s sovereignty, then you’ll want to be a part of this.

Here is what others who have been through it have said:

“This has been a life changing six weeks for me! I feel like I’ve ‘got it’ or am at least ‘getting it.’ Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”

‘One of my favorite things you said was ‘God said, you were broken here. Here is where you will heal.’ I will never be the same after this class.’

‘My relationship with my sister is on the path of healing after I met your challenge to reach out to her. This class has restored by hope and renewed my faith. That’s saying a lot from a fifty year old woman. Thank you.’

‘I’ve been a Christian my whole life and have never been taught the simplicity of Gospel like this. It wrecked me and built me up in truth like I can never explain. Thank you.’

Let me know if you’re interested and if you have any questions.

Click here to check out/join the ‘Grace Is For Sinners’ community website.

Serena

who here is blind?

Those who can’t seem to get it together are better off than those who think they have a good grip. I would rather sit next to the guy who smells like pot than the woman who looks down on him. I would rather talk to someone with a million questions than listen to someone who has it all figured out. Once you’ve lost the capacity to learn, you’re dead weight.

We all have weaknesses, addictions and tendencies. If you’re not being real, you don’t know what they are. If you can’t spot them, you can’t sandbag against them. The best way to find your weak points is to live without fear of failure while still aware that you’ll fail. When the bomb goes off, trace the wire back to the trigger. Your own sin can be a huge asset when you’re trying to choose where to stand.

Everyone has a tendency toward certain sins. Do you know what yours are? Instead of feeling defeated by your failures, be empowered by the knowledge.

An alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, but he doesn’t have to drink. He can find his triggers and make a plan. If he knows he’s an alcoholic who binges when stressed, he can refer to his escape plan and fight against his natural tendency. This doesn’t mean he’ll never slip. It means he’s got an extra rail between him and the fall.

I never knew I had the capacity to cheat until I cheated. I thought it would be a lot harder to cross that bridge. Before experiencing that failure, there were a lot of behaviors that I never would have seen as foreplay to the consummation of adultery. I knew I was a good person and I saw my behavior as harmless and innocent.

Now that I know where my weaknesses are, a lot of ‘innocent’ behavior doesn’t look as innocent to me. My boundaries are further out and I can spot danger quicker. I would be a fool to say I would never do it again. Not seeing my ability in the first place was one of my biggest mistakes. However, I can acknowledge that I’ve put more distance between me and that pitfall.

If you deny your weakness or are unaware of it, then you will not know where the traps and triggers are and you will not have an escape plan. Those in denial will always be bruised because they’re more scared of labels than of constantly falling into the same hole.

It’s like a blind man refusing to admit that he’s blind. He claims to be able to see clearly, so when he destroys things in his path, he has no excuse and will get no help. If he can’t see clearly, then he won’t clean up his messes properly and will be despised for that, too. If he would realize and admit that he was blind, he would get more help, compassion and mercy. Those who claim to see clearly are expected to see clearly. Anything claiming to be perfect is judged against perfection.

“If you were really blind, you would be blameless, but since you claim to see everything so well, you’re accountable for every fault and failure.” -John 9:41

• Do you know where your weaknesses are?
• Do you have an escape route?
• What can you share with others that may help them learn from your mistakes?

potluck religion

I’ve made myself available to those who haven’t bothered to ask. I’m here, ready to be found by those who haven’t bothered to look. -Isaiah 65:1

This massive group of people walk around like they knew Him, but they don’t. They profess their love for Him to each other with a glazed over and detached look in their eyes. They do things on His behalf that He would never do. People base their opinions on Him from their interaction with them.

Meanwhile, there are people who hear bits and pieces of the truth and something stirs inside of them. The problem is, there is so much crap surrounding it that they don’t know what’s truth and what’s religion. They turn to each other and never to Him. The blind leading the blind.

I kept saying ‘I’m here, I’m right here’ to a nation that ignored me. I reached out day after day to a people who turned their backs on me. -Isaiah 65:2

When they hear things that don’t match what the others have taught them, they reject it. They guard their ideal so tightly that challenges are met by a sharp toothed tongue and haughty smirks. A cultish mentality that refuses to see the real Truth when it repeatedly tries to get their attention.

What’s worse, they think they’re on the right track. They lean on scriptures for ‘persecution’ when they know nothing of persecution. Or verses about being ‘hated by the world’ when the world doesn’t hate them, they just don’t want their flavor of religion.

People who make wrong turns, who insist on doing things their own way. They get on my nerves, are rude to my face day after day. Make up their own kitchen religion, a potluck religious stew. -Isaiah 65:3

You get to a point where your system works and anything that disrupts it is ignored. People aren’t looking for the Truth anymore because they’re content. Nobody wants to be wrong, nobody wants to be challenged, they just want comfort. They prefer tradition over Truth. They prefer shackles over freedom.

They hear the truth, but reject it. It seems too easy. They prefer to earn their way. Can’t take a ‘gift’ without feeling the obligation to even the scale. Disrespectful disregard surrounded by double talk and no capacity to be in debt to another. Debtors are less than.

They say, ‘Keep your distance. Don’t touch me. I’m holier than thou.’ These people gag me. I can’t stand their stench. -Isaiah 65:5

In church, were you taught to keep your distance from ’sinners’? Were you taught to set yourself apart as ‘royalty?’ Did they teach you to ‘call out’ worldly behavior in hopes that they’ll feel condemned enough to convert to Christianity?

This mentality is repulsive and, apparently, it’s not just repulsive to the rest of us. It’s sickening to God.

finding hope

I think emotional hell is in the absence of hope. The product of perceived separation from God. With no God, there is no forgiveness of sins. There is an eternal weight of failure that you can never unload whether you want to or not. There is no sorry that is sufficient, there is no rebuilding, there is no remaining chance. There is no opportunity to reach the destination your entire awareness has been reaching for your whole life and hell is knowing you have more life to live.

Hell is being awake to feel the most dreadful things. It’s the cramping and convulsing of knowledge that you have gone too far.

It’s screaming from behind a sealed off room.

Hope hangs on if there’s a chance that nobody has heard your cries yet. However, if you are heard and still sealed away, then that is where hell is.

Hell is not in knowing that no one can save you. It’s knowing that no one wants to save you. It’s the belief that you are not worth saving.

Separation from God is found in your faith. You find the object of your faith when you find the reason for your hope.

• If you hoped in your capacity to succeed. Your god is your potential.
• If you hoped in your license to be forgiven. Your god is your worth.
• If you hoped in your ability to earn back your standing. Your god is your appeal.

I think God lets us feel hopelessness because it’s the ultimate purification of faith.

When you are at the very end of yourself and all of the things that gave you hope are gone. What if everyone washes their hands of you? What if the mountains, after seeing you, pick up their skirts and walk away from you? What if the stars stop glimmering and blooming flowers lose their smell? Where does your hope come from then?

No one to remind you, nothing to look forward to, no songs sang for you, no letters written to you. Nothing giving you value or, even, evidence of your existence. You’re the ashes of a burned picture, the footprints from an estate sale, an empty crematory incinerator.

Where does your hope come from then?

Have you ever been so lost that your own thoughts are a startler to the otherwise ‘nothing’?

Don’t be afraid to doubt what you thought you knew and question your faith. Doubting everything is the precursor to finding the authentic Truth. Don’t fear questions about what you believe. If the Truth is true, then no question can unravel it.

In all of your doubting, questioning and thinking, it must, at some point, occur to you that you do exist. If you exist, then there must be more. If there is more, then there must be hope.

If hopelessness purifies faith, and mature faith is the goal, then were you put in this place for that reason? You can say that your own failures got you here, but since when was Jesus death not enough to put an end to sin as the end? If sin isn’t the deciding factor regarding you, then it has lost its power.

He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. -Matthew 3:12

Where do they go from here? They’ve lost their good name, their faith in themselves and now sin can’t even define them.

He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned. -Matthew 3:12

The only thing left is hope because this time as an outcast has proven to be crucial. If you hadn’t gone through the dark, you would not know what you know. If you had no reason to doubt and question, you wouldn’t have found the answers that changed everything. There is always hope because not only does your failure say nothing about you, but it’s actually sovereignly used to make you real. And we need more real.

Let the Truth breathe new life into your death. When what you thought should have ruined you didn’t, then what is there left? Nothing but hope that your own personal hell has a purpose. Your faith has been purified and made mature.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. -James 1:2-4

| Tags: faith