Posted: January 26th, 2012 |
Filed under: God | Tags: faith, hope, purpose |
6 Comments »
God has a plan that precedes you, encompasses you and then surpasses you. You don’t even have to know Him to be part of what He’s doing. His plan trumps ours. He’s busy at work using His hands to craft different styles of pottery to use. Writing His own story with us as the characters and with Jesus as the main event.
Everything from the foundation of the world has been a set up for the crowning of Jesus. Nothing exeeds the importance of that one event and nothing can change it.
Even the unborn have been called to purpose. No matter what, you cannot undo your purpose or avoid your path. It’s not only that He knows what you’ll do, it’s that He’s designed you for a specific use and you will most definitely be used to that end. You know this is true if you really believe that it’s God moving through you and not you moving yourself. You don’t get to pick what part of you He uses. Those who know, know that God uses the parts of you that you would rather keep behind a locked and closed door marked, “Sacred”.
And the children were yet unborn and had so far done nothing either good or evil. Even so, in order further to carry out God’s purpose of selection (election, choice), which depends not on works or what men can do, but on Him Who calls [them]...-Romans 9:11 AMP
Some things between us and God are hard to explain. He meets us in places we should have never been. He recognized us when we didn’t even recognize ourselves. These times in our lives are ugly and dark, but He was there. You can’t explain it and you can’t explain it away. You keep quiet, but He keeps nudging.
People need to know that no matter how far they run, He’s always right there. He takes every step they take. He will never, ever, leave them. They need to know this so they can be saved. They need to know this so they can be righteous. Every time they are under attack, He is right there holding the leash to the one who attacks them. Every time they hit the ground, He is right there. He is the wind on the face of the one running away. He’s the leaves in the hair of the one hiding in shame. He is with you always because He is ‘I AM’.
Some of us were created to reflect God’s mercy and some of us can attest to God’s dissatisfaction. I am one who can testify to both. We are characters created to be a witness in the trial. One day we will be subpoenaed.
God lets evil plans form and emerge as they wreak havoc, only to thwart them and turn it into something that brings the beaten closer to Him. Evil exists, but ultimately answers to Him. Pain peirces, but only brings the broken closer to Him. Sin bulldozes blooming gardens only to make room for the flowers of mercy.
Everything answers to God. Everything has it’s time in the sun, it’s fifteen minutes (years?), but none of it has the last word.
No matter where your path has taken you, no matter what you’ve done, not matter what has been done to you, none of it gets the last word on your life. God does and He does what He says.
His biggest statement concerning you was Jesus.
Read part of this song David wrote:
From the four corners of the earth
people are coming to their senses,
are running back to God.
Long-lost families
are falling on their faces before him.
God has taken charge;
from now on he has the last word.
All the power-mongers are before him
—worshiping!
All the poor and powerless, too
—worshiping!
Along with those who never got it together
—worshiping!
Our children and their children
will get in on this
As the word is passed along
from parent to child.
Babies not yet conceived
will hear the good news—
that God does what he says. (Psalm 22:27-31 MSG)
Posted: December 29th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, purpose |
2 Comments »
God calls you to do things that are impossible for you. If you don’t look at Him then your plans will swallow you whole. You’ll get stressed and overwhelmed. You’ll see how impossible it is. You’ll feel the distance between what you want to happen, what is happening, and your inability to jump the rift.
Sit and crunch the cost. You’ll become very aware that you’re setting yourself up for failure. Then God asks, “Why would you plan for failure?”
When you dream and take the steps to make it happen, you have to keep looking at God. You really can’t look at the task. Doing that will only remind you that you can’t do it.
It is faith that keeps you from drowning and you’re not the boss.
I am ready to throw in the towel every day. I have no problem shutting everything down , slipping away, and disappearing. As soon as I hear the word, I’m gone.
I am an ant using my little legs to dig a tunnel through a mountain of stone and it hurts. I’m not alone… one of millions. If ten are digging in one direction, three are standing around, four are telling us we’re in the way, and three are shoveling rocks back in the hole.
My eyes are focused on something beyond the obvious. The obvious is, I’m nobody. I can’t do anything. I’m a flushed goldfish that re-emerged in a rip-current and I’m not big enough to get myself out. I’ll either end up drowned on the beach, food for a bigger fish, or I’ll actually reach my destination.
When you throw in your lot with God, He’ll either show up or not. I’d rather know than always have questions.
I try to do things that I cannot do. I could be an fool. Sometimes I feel like one. But I’m curious. I want to know how everything works. I want to find as many obstacles as possible and figure why they’re there and how to get passed them
One thing I know: The rip current of God’s will is stronger than anything I could do. If I threw in my towel and tossed my toddler toy back where I found it, things would still end up exactly the way they’re supposed to.
Posted: December 5th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: Bible study, healing |
8 Comments »
I love reading the different exchanges between the disciples and Jesus. He constantly tried to show them what this new life is all about, how God works, and how to look at things in a different way. I read these stories trying to understand what Jesus said and trying to understand why, sometimes, the disciples didn’t understand.
One exchange between the disciples and Jesus that I find interesting is found in John 9. The group of men passed a man who was born blind and they asked Jesus:
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” -John 9:2
That was how things worked back then. Sin, either the sin of a parent or the sin of a person, could be the cause of bad things happening to people. Many religions still believe this. They call it karma.
Jesus answered them, showing them that bad things happen for a bigger purpose. It’s about God, not about the sin.
“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” -John 9:3
Jesus made people think outside the box.
Jesus said that ‘the works of God’ would be displayed in him. More than the miraculous healing happened in this story.
When the Pharisees found out that Jesus healed him, they said that He couldn’t be from God because He sinned in order to heal the man. He healed Him on the Sabbath.
Jesus defied religious tradition.
Almost everyone doubted the man’s healing.
The religious leaders questioned everyone, including the healed man’s parents. His parents believed what happened, they had no choice, but they were too afraid to go against the religious grain to say it was true.
“We know that this is our son and that he was born blind. But how he now sees we do not know, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him; he is of age. He will speak for himself.” (His parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone should confess Jesus to be Christ, he was to be put out of the synagogue.)” -John 9:20-22
They were afraid of being kicked out of their church if they admitted to what they knew Jesus did.
The religious leaders went back to the healed man and told him that in order to give glory to God, he had to change his story.
“Give glory to God. We know that this man is a sinner.” -John 9:24
They called Jesus a sinner because he did things out of their order. They were the authority on what is of God and what wasn’t and they deemed the way Jesus did things as ‘not of God.’
They questioned him about how, exactly Jesus healed him. And the man did his best to answer them. They were pretentious and arrogant toward him. He shared what Jesus did for him, but was not able to make them get it.
“If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” -John 9:33
While he was trying to use their own understanding of how God works, they belittled him saying:
“You were born in utter sin, and would you teach us?” And they cast him out. -John 9:34
They didn’t like what he had to say. It contradicted their authority. It contradicted their religion. It contradicted the very thing that set them above everyone else, so they ‘cast him out’.
When Jesus heard what the religious leaders did to him, He found him and asked:
“Do you believe in the Son of Man?” -John 9:35
All this man knew is that Jesus was from God and He healed Him. He didn’t know who ‘the Son of Man’ was, but if the healer believed in Him, then he would, too.
“And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” -John 9:36
This is my favorite part. Did he already know? How could every part of his body not be ripping from him and leaning in to this flesh and blood manifestation of his creator?
“You have seen him,” answered Jesus, “and it is he who is speaking to you.” (John 9:37)
“Lord, I believe.” (John 9:38)
How could he not? Jesus made it impossible to deny.
“For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” -John 9:39
That’s an interesting twist. He made a point to reveal the Great Reversal. The least greatest, the greatest least; the last first and the first last. He ‘sinned’ to reveal Himself to the blind and utterly blinded the one’s who usually see.
The Pharisees were like gnats, always hanging around the fruit, trying to speed up the spoil with their constant cynical and antagonistic questioning.
Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, ”Are we also blind?” -John 9:40
Yes. Yes, you are.
If you actually heard the words of God as though you had something new to learn, you wouldn’t be in the wrong even though the newly revealed truth puts you in the wrong. The fact that you think you know everything well enough to not have anything new to learn makes you blind. Do you think it’s some coincidence that the truth comes from someone you don’t respect or even like? It’s almost like Someone is using every side of the grater to either shred your pride or make you fight with your own self-righteousness. It’s not just to mess with you, it’s a thermometer. Are you boiling? If so, then you need the medicine.
Jesus said to them, ”If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains.” -John 9:41
All of this happened to ‘display the works of God.’ It shows how things happen.
- Jesus defied religious tradition to the point of being called a ‘sinner’.
- Many people will doubt the healing.
- Some people are too afraid to speak up when it goes against the grain.
- Those who do, stand a chance of being kicked out of their church.
- Self-righteous people will use God’s name and your desire to glorify Him to manipulate you into submission to them.
- God uses the most unlikely (unworthy?) to reveal His truth.
- Self-righteous people will belittle you if you don’t cave in to their version.
- Jesus made the blind man see before he believed in Him.
- If you know you have more to learn, you’re guiltless.
- If you think you know it all, you’re guilty of what you don’t know.
You have to admit that you are blind. If you’re blind, He can make you see. If you think you’re not blind, then you’ll always be blind. Only crazy people don’t think they’re crazy.
Posted: November 23rd, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: aftermath, faith, grace, purpose, sin |
12 Comments »
Broken One,
I’m thinking about you today. Holidays don’t make everything better, do they? Holidays only stop the routine distractions that keep you from thinking and shove the reality into your tiny tent of safety. Reality echos off the emptiness. The things you used to bake aren’t welcome on that table anymore. Life goes on without you and you’re still here to feel the loss. They have each other and you have your emptiness.
Something I learned in that tent is that all the meaning I used to give these weeks of whirl are drowned out by the deeper meaning of what they’re really about. Instead of my ability to create a magical experience, I was whittled down to complete inability to right my wrongs and fix my mistakes. When I was unable to create meaning, Meaning found me. The removal of routine distractions forced me to see what had real Meaning.
It’s a quiet voice that won’t let you die. It’s as without effort as your heartbeat and your never ending breath in and breath out. You can’t stop life no more than you can create it. You can’t will yourself dead just like the dying can’t will themselves more time. The fact that you’re still alive is proof that you still have purpose. It all has purpose. The pain of emptiness, loneliness, and brokenness have a purpose and no one can save you from it. You may not know it right now, (I’m almost positive that you don’t), but your pain is your salvation…real salvation, not sentimental salvation. No one can save you from what becomes your salvation.
The fact that you’re still here is proof that your story isn’t over. That kind of hope is stronger than your strength to make it out of the desire to make it. You know you’re at the bottom when you no longer have the desire to make it, but life won’t let you go. There is still hope of rescue when physical death won’t rescue you.
I want to challenge you to reject self-pity. I know, at times, it has become your comfort. I know that self-pity carries a cheap hope that someone will see your eyes and do something to take your pain away. But, if someone can do that for you, then it alleviates your need for Jesus. Don’t do that. Don’t look to a person to do what only He can. I promise you, even though He feels like He’s keeping His distance, just like everyone else, He’s not. Your suffering is only for a moment in the big collection of moments.
Suffering from your own failure is aggressive because there is no relief to be found in guiltlessness. Guiltlessness doesn’t exist.
This is me offering a silent nod in your direction because I recognize where you are. I know how bad it hurts. But, more than knowing the suffering, I know the rest. I know what is coming and I have no doubt in your survival. I see your suffering as birth pains. You can’t rescue a woman from labor because you would take the new life away from her. Like a woman in labor, embrace the suffering with hope. Hope is the balm for the pain.
You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. -1 Peter 5:9-11 MSG
Those of us who have been through it, like women who can recount every moment of childbirth, sit and marvel at the miracle. You don’t fully understand unless you’ve been through it, and those who have love to tell the story. You’re going to have your own story soon. You’ll be able to sit around a table of Thanksgiving with new meaning and new life. All the old that you thought was real will fade in comparison.
Will you do something today? I know you don’t feel like it, I know it seems useless, but will you bake something? Bake something as a testament to the fact that you’re still alive. Eat at a table even though some of the chairs are empty. They won’t always be empty. Bake a meal as a labor of hope. It lets the wolves know that they have not yet sucked every last drop of blood from your veins.
Take this promise from God and use it to get through the next few weeks. I know it hurts, but there is hope. I know this because I have seen it. He knows where you are, that you’re in exile. He knows that everything has been destroyed, and He knows how bad it hurts. He’s not leaving you there, He’s making something new. He’ll never leave you, even if everyone else does.
This exile is just like the days of Noah for me: I promised then that the waters of Noah would never again flood the earth. I’m promising now no more anger, no more dressing you down. For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.” The God who has compassion on you says so. -Isaiah 54:9-10 MSG
The God who has compassion on you says so.
Posted: November 16th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, purpose |
17 Comments »
When I fell, I walked through years of condemnation and rejection. Those closest to me thought that they were making a stand for God. They wrote words to me saying that they were speaking the mind of Christ, “What hell to have to hide the truth of what you’ve done. Your guilty prayers of forgiveness are empty.” They enveloped me in hopelessness. They carried my bed to the other side of the gate and stood guard around the Cross. They would not let me near, but I was too weak to crawl anyway.
The fire raged around me. Entities that were not friends screamed at me from the inside out and from the outside in. I was being consumed.
They said that they believed they were doing what God would have them do. I know how it sounds and if ‘here and now’ is all there is, then they would be horribly and blatantly wrong. But, you must know, I believe they were doing what God wanted them to do. Not because it was right in and of itself, but because of what God brought out of it. I do not believe that God worked in spite of their mistakes. I believe that God wanted them to reject me, …even in His name. It was a fire of condemnation that needed to be fanned to rage.
Every single bit of false that was in me was consumed. I believed them when they told me that I could not be sorry enough to be forgiven. I believed them when they told me that I was further from God than I had ever been. The false that was consumed was the hint of hope that I could be sorry enough to be forgiven. My hope in myself, my ability to pay, and my ability to, in time, bounce back was destroyed. I, all that remained in all that “I” was, was completely destroyed.
It’s normal to think that kind of hopelessness is not from God, but I have been there and I can tell you that it was. It’s not because of them. Their words and attitudes are full of disgusting pride and fat on self-righteousness, but it’s not about them. It’s about what they were used for. The hopelessness that I felt was not a destination, it was a tool to get me to a destination. I had to feel every moment of it so that I would know what I was rescued from. If hell is separation from God, then I got to eat a full meal of it.
If I look at them without considering the sovereignty of God, then I am repulsed. But, when I consider the garden that grew where the fire once consumed, then my mind goes directly to a God. He knows exactly what it takes to break the steel chains of self-inflated lies that keep you from being free. I am a very strong-willed punk. It took a dose of hell to break me. Who better to use than the people who will discern His voice and obey? While I can see their lies, I can see the way God used those lies. I can thank God for it and forgive what they inflicted.
Sometimes God instigates a hellish time for you, but if your faith is nearsighted you will only see your circumstances and the purpose will be blurred. God hardened Pharaoh’s heart on purpose. It caused Pharaoh to make the Israelite’s life hell. When Moses cried out to God, “Does this look like rescue to you?” (Ex5:22, The Message), he wanted to know the “why?”. God made it clear that He wanted the Israelite’s to know what they were being rescued from, just in case they were tempted to go back (Ex6:6, 7:4, 14:4, 14:18). He wanted them to know who He is.
There is no point when God is not in on what is going on with you. It’s not about looking at everyone else and concerning yourself with how wrong they are. God is using every bit of it to lead you somewhere, or burn you, or break you. Do you want in on this or not? That’s the real ‘coming to Jesus’ moment.
Look at what Job said when he figured this stuff out:
You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit. Yet these things you hid in your heart; I know that this was your purpose. -Job 10:12-13
I love the way The Message puts it: “You gave me life itself, and incredible love. You watched and guarded every breath I took. But you never told me about this part.”
I am trying to get you to see that you cannot look at your circumstances, at the people who wrong you, or at your own failures and think that this is all there is. This is a moment in a lifetime of moments. In all of it, there is never a point where things get out of God’s hands. He’s God. Nobody wins against Him.
He’s not going to rescue you out of your circumstances. He’s using your circumstances to rescue you.
You build a shelter to sleep under at night. Then, you go out during the day to find Him. You look everywhere, working sun-up to sun-down, only to go back to your shelter defeated. You will never find Him until you realize that He is where you are. He is the shelter that keeps you covered at night. He sits where you’re real and waits for you to come back. He wants to heal you where you’re broken and you’re broken where you don’t want to be.
Though he slay me, I will hope in him… -Job 13:15
He wants you to trust Him like that.
Posted: November 14th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: faith, grace, purpose |
10 Comments »
“Beware of being obsessed with consistency to your own convictions instead of being devoted to God. If you are a saint and say, “I will never do this or that,” in all probability this will be exactly what God will require of you. … The important consistency in a saint is not to principle but to the divine life.” -Oswald Chambers
People believe more in a necessity that life be guided by religion than they do in the reality that life is guided by the Holy Spirit. God is asking these people to do something they said they would never do. They’re tormented right now because the choice won’t go away. God is trying to teach them to trust His voice, but they can’t make it line up with what they think. And so they’re tormented.
God told Ezekiel that he had to eat something that would religiously defile him. Ezekiel responded by saying, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I have never defiled myself (Ez 4:14).” God couldn’t possibly be asking him to do this. But, He was. There was a much bigger purpose for it than Ezekiel could see.
He had to let go of his religion in order to obey the God of his religion.
God told Balaam to go somewhere that was ‘forbidden’. Remember the story about Balaam’s donkey talking to him? Balaam was doing what God told him to do and an angel stood like a road block on the path. The angel called Balaam’s journey ‘perverse’ and said that God was angry. But…God told him to go. It made no sense. A donkey spoke, Balaam was a mess, and the angel ended the conversation by telling Balaam to continue the journey. Balaam had a job to do, though he didn’t know what it was yet. He had to trust God’s mercy and he stuck as close as he could to Him. (read Numbers 22)
I know the fear and trembling that blankets obedience.
Peter had a vision where He was asked by God to eat something that would religiously defile him. He responded by saying, “By no means, Lord…(Acts 10:14)” God taught Peter that life in Him is not about the ‘don’t's’ and the ‘musts’. It’s about His purpose for you, but you get used while you’re struggling with Him, so it’s hard to see the purpose until you can look back on it with some distance.
Every step is a choice and we struggle to never misstep with the wrong choice. You know when God is leading you down a path you said you would never travel and you remain where you are in misery. You have to see, in these stories, that God sometimes does lead people in directions that force you to rely on His mercy and His grace.
When you are in that place, your life is not your own.
You are completely dependent on Jesus. You are exactly where you are supposed to be when you move beyond yourself like that. It gets easier to trust Him the more you let go. It feels unmapped, but it’s not. When you get in there, the map you’ve been using all along starts to become a lot more clear. It doesn’t take long before you find yourself chasing trails all over the map like it’s all new again.
You have to let go of the idea of what your life should or was supposed to look like. Here and Now life happens and you don’t get to write it. It’s time to step beyond yourself and trust that He knows what He’s doing. In that life of complete dependance on Him, you’ll lose the ties that are binding you. Sometimes those ties are people, sometimes they’re something else. You will suffer loss, but it’s only to learn what it means to say:
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”-Philippians 3:7-11
Posted: November 10th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: grace, poetry |
11 Comments »
They say only drink when you’re happy, but she uses her glass to take her way from Him.
One drink, it’ll taste better.
Two drinks, she’ll be fine.
Three drinks goes her judgment
Four drinks and she’s dialing.
Drunk is the stumble back to her heart.
Hate doesn’t exist without love and love is what she can’t make die.
What’s the point in life when you had what you couldn’t lose and lost it?
Question anesthetic became the truth serum and she’s a mess of herself.
One drink too many and she’s at His feet in Heaven’s version of a drunk dial.
When you don’t know where you’re going, you go where you know, and all she knows is Him.
She doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t want Him to know she’s there. Hand up to hide her breath, He’s on the other side of her doubt.
He’s quiet and she knows He knows. This is their ritual.
He doesn’t hang up. It’s the only way she comes to Him.
They say that He doesn’t want a drunk, but He’ll take her any way He can get her.
Her thoughts are stumbling, but she can still hum with the echo.
They say He wants her like she used to be, but He wants her like she is.
You can forget the words and remember the tune.
They say she’s never been further, but she’s right-here far away, not far-away right here.
She’s really lost, not pretend found. Closer than ever. Ugly truth becomes her.
A truth only a Father can love.
He’s the silence in the thunder when the storm rips her open. She runs when she’s sober, goes home when she’s drunk.
Passed out, she reaches for Him like a pillow.
They only want her clean.
Stripped down, she curls up in Him like a blanket.
and He’s the only one who will take her dirty.
Posted: November 4th, 2011 |
Filed under: God | Tags: grace, love wins |
25 Comments »
I had a dark childhood. I’ve lived and died a thousand times in this skin. But, by some miracle, I have always known that when I reach my hand up, His hand is there to take it. I have always been after the inner tug to the Something More. I can say with certainty that in spite of the brunt of life I had been served, I was meant for something more.
Knowing the damage that sexual abuse causes, I look at my children and something inside me leaps. They are unscathed by what scathed me. They are innocent and have no idea what kind of evil lurks in the dark spaces. I do everything I can to keep the predator of the innocent away from them.
I know what signs to look for. A predator tries to wedge in between the parent and the child. The predator befriends the family and waits to catch the little one alone. Innocence makes you trust. It’s all a game full of secrets and chances to be big. “You’re very mature for your age,” the predator hisses.
A cunning predator knows the right words. ”Your parents are just trying to control you.”
I know what signs to look for. A child is a streak of giggles across the room while the mother runs after her with her clothes. Reckless naked abandon and the parents laugh as the little legs scamper in play. It’s only when the child is ashamed of the nakedness and curious about things beyond their level of development that there is a problem. When shame replaces innocence and fear replaces play, the parent is gripped by a knowing they must push aside or confront. It’s a knowing that asks, “Who made you ashamed?”
Victims of sexual abuse blame themselves. They can think back to all the times that they were not careful, the times they ran around naked, and they think they brought it on themselves. The child remembers all the times they left themselves vulnerable. All the naked tumbles and what used to be innocent had become indecent. And they stop playing.
They hide from their parent out of distrust and feeling dirty. “I’ll wash myself. Leave! I’m naked.”
When we read the words of God in the Bible, they’re just printed words. The words are given life by what we believe. We animate them with what we know.
A predator came into the garden and caught Eve alone. He wedged himself between Eve and her Father. He made her believe that her Father was just trying to control her. “Do you want to be a grownup, Eve?”
“God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Gen3:5
Until then, she and Adam were a streak of giggles. They were innocent in reckless naked abandon. Their legs danced in play. But, when they ate, their eyes were opened and their memory was tainted in shame. They grabbed leaves to cover their nakedness and hid from their Father.
And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. (Gen3:8)
God called out to them. ”Where are you?” (Gen3:9)
They called out from their hiding place, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” (Gen3:10)
When shame replaces innocence and fear replaces play, the parent is gripped by a knowing they must push aside or confront. It’s a knowing that asks,
“Who told you that you were naked?” (Gen3:11)
The predator is a deceiver. He wedges himself between you and your Father. He tries to catch you alone because he is the molester of God’s children. He tries to make you feel ashamed of your freedom. He tries to take away your innocence. Every time you fall down, he humiliates you. He makes you doubt your Father and rely on him to take his condemning words back. He grooms you before he violates you. He vandalizes your trust in the Father so that you have nowhere to turn. He wants you to believe that you are damaged and alone. He wants to make a ghost town of your purity.
But look what God did for Adam and Eve. Their world had changed. They now knew what they shouldn’t have known. They stood before Him in tears as their flimsy coverings were not enough to hide what shamed them. But, God did not leave them embarrassed and vulnerable. He made them better clothes.
And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. (Gen3:20)
They should not have even known they needed clothes, but God did not torment them with what they could not change. He found them exactly where they were and provided what they should not have needed. He wanted them to feel decent again. Maybe if they feel decent, they won’t be afraid to be with Him.
God doesn’t give up on you and leave you to suffer your own damage. He takes care of you, even when it was you who caused the destruction.
Posted: September 28th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: Bible study |
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This is the sixth post in a series of word studies that I am doing to try to reveal the best explanation of a specific scripture:
For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.- Hebrews 6:4-6
What is repentance?
To ‘repent’ is to see in a new light after the fact. It’s an afterthought, not a forethought. It is a reversal of your state of mind. God gives repentance and/or leads men to it. It is turning from sin to God through faith. It’s a spiritual conversion. (Vines)
I’m sitting here trying to explain what the ‘ottoman’ is to my five-year-old. She’s about 6 minutes from going out to the bus and driving her eight-year-old sister crazy. Grant it, she’s only standing over her and watching as she ties her shoes, but for whatever reason, it’s making her sister crazy, so I asked her to sit on the ottoman. That’s when I discovered that she didn’t know what it was. (More likely, she was acting so she didn’t have to sit there.) I got her to understand what the ottoman was by telling her what it wasn’t.
Repentance is not asking for forgiveness. It is not a confession of sin. Asking for forgiveness is a confession of sin and a request for mercy.
“I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ - Matthew 18:32-33 (said by the ruler in Jesus’ analogy to the servant on whom he had mercy, but was not merciful to others)
The man to whom the ruler was speaking admitted his fault, asked for mercy, received it, but did not repent. Because he did not repent, he was not set free in grace.
“And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” -Jesus in Matthew 18:34-35
You know that someone has repented and has accepted God’s grace by the way they treat others when it comes to them handing out forgiveness and grace.
“…godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” - 2 Corinthians 7:10
Repentance leads to salvation without regret. Meaning, when you have repented, it turns your sin into something you can thank God for allowing. Zero regret in light of repentance. Repentance is what you learned. It’s the view ‘after the fact.’ It’s a ‘change of mind’. It’s turning from the sin, which causes regret and stings, and it’s turning to God, which causes the relief of salvation. The effect of repentance is the inability to withhold forgiveness from others because you see it differently now.
I’ll illustrate this with pieces of my own story.
My own sin wrecked my life. Because of my affair, I lost my church family, my friends, my marriage, my good name, my future as I saw it, and I lost my self-respect. In the aftermath of my sin, God spoke nothing but forgiveness and grace to me, but I had a hard time accepting the simplicity of it. It didn’t add up as I saw it. I was more wrong than I had ever been and I hated myself. I wanted to believe that He forgave me, that He still loved me, but I couldn’t. I was sorry, I hated my sin, I wanted to go back and change my choices, I wanted to find some way to pay for my horrible and indecent behavior, I wanted others to be free of me and the pain I caused, but I was not repentant. I thought I knew what repentance was and I thought that I had it, I was sorry… I wasn’t sticking up for myself…I was submissive to whatever God wanted me to do, but I realize now that wasn’t repentance. Because of that, I could not accept His grace. I could not be saved from guilt and shame.
Through the journey in the aftermath, I resigned myself to the fact that I could do nothing right and could not talk myself into believing that I was forgiven. So, I began asking God to show me what path to take from that point forward. I could try to mend the life I ruined, but I and the others involved did not want to mend it. I could try to establish my life within the changes my sin caused, but I did not believe that God was with me anymore. I did not want to establish anything that God was not in. I was trapped in a spiritual hell and had no clue how to get out.
I prayed constantly for Him to make the path clear. Everything in my life was set up like a temporary tent. I had a borrowed home, a job that wouldn’t miss me, and zero relationships. I had nothing holding me except for the fact that I had no place to go. I had no home. I was pregnant from my affair, but I saw it as an excuse to move forward in the life I stole and refused to accept it. I didn’t know what to do about that aspect, but I was no longer in the position, because of my submission, to make any choices for my own life. For months I lived with the possibility that I would have to give my baby to her father and return to a marriage I no longer wanted. But, if that was the price I had to pay, then I would pay it. I just needed a clear path, straight from God, and so I prayed. I prayed consciously unworthy and desperate prayers, not for something specific, but for anything at all. Assurance in a direction, …that is all I wanted.
In my brokenness, I turned to scripture to find my answers. It was frustrating, to be completely transparent, because the Gospel did not reveal my condemnation. The further I got into scripture, freedom and grace through Jesus was the only thing I saw. So, I didn’t believe that God had accounted for me in His word. I couldn’t make it add up because it was too easy.
One day, on a whim, I checked out a home that was listed in the paper. It was ‘for sale by owner’ with a ridiculously low down payment and a monthly payment I could afford. My credit, due to my marital spit, was absolutely atrocious. There is no way I could get approved for anything, so I thought it was harmless to check out what I could never have.
I met the man at the house. It was brand new… three weeks away from being finished. I was standing in the living room, looking up at the 12-foot ceilings, when he asked me if I could see myself there. Tears of regret stung my eyes and I swallowed by overwhelming lump of shame to say, ‘yes’. When he asked if I wanted to get the paperwork started, I felt even more shame. That man had no idea that I had wasted his time. As soon as he saw what I looked like on paper, he wouldn’t be so eager.
“Do you want to know anything about me?” It was my resignation talking.
“No. I’m a good judge of character.” His exact words.
No, you’re not. Clearly. My thoughts bled through my eyes, but he didn’t see them.
We sat at a table and I signed a contract. I gave him the money and he gave me the keys. It was that fast. I was overwhelmed and started to panic. This was a decision. I can’t make decisions. I’m a mess. It happened too fast and I was confused. I was either making another horrible choice, or… I didn’t know.
He was standing to leave when I asked him the name of his company.
“Pathway Properties.” he answered.
I almost threw up. …Pathway…
I felt the undeniable Presence. The wind of freedom and absolute blessing was crushing me.
“Why?” I was asking God, but to the man it sounded like I was asking him…
“Why are you doing this?” I couldn’t recover, but he thought he knew what I meant and answered me.
“My wife and I are Christians and feel like it’s our calling to provide good homes to good people.”
I had prayed for months for God to show me the path He wanted me to take. I was left with keys poking my palm and the overwhelming presence, thick with anticipation. The pressure pounding four words in my ears. …The expectant whisper screaming a question over the sound of my heartbeat:
“Do you see Me?”
God gave me a home. Pathway Properties. He gave me roots. He gave me a place to grow an overrun garden of grace.
He gave me a place to see Him. My life is an eternal nod, “Yes. I see you.”
Repentance is seeing Him. My sin is the only reason I know Him like I do. My sin removes any possibility for me to take any credit for my salvation. Undeniably undeserved. Overwhelming mercy. Crazy inexplicable grace.
My worship is only possible because of grace. Knowing that is repentance. My life’s purpose is to try to get others to see Him, too. I only knew what my purpose was because of my sin. Being able to say that is repentance. I can forgive myself and accept His grace because of what I learned through my sin. That’s repentance.
Salvation without regret. That’s repentance.
Read the definition of repentance at the beginning of this post again…
“Are you listening to this? Really listening?”…You’ve been given insight into God’s kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can’t see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people— Whose eyes are open but don’t see a thing, Whose ears are open but don’t understand a word, Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven. …Do you see how this story works?” -Jesus in Mark 4:9-13 MSG
I want to know… do you see Him?
she's not on the ottoman, she's looking out the window
Posted: September 26th, 2011 |
Filed under: God, life | Tags: Bible study |
5 Comments »
This is the fifth in a series of word studies that I am doing to try to reveal the best explanation of a specific scripture:
For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.- Hebrews 6:4-6
What ‘falling away’ means…
Refusal to acknowledge God’s claims and His Christ; to not adhere to the realities and facts of the faith. (Vines)
To put it as clearly as possible, ‘falling away’ does not mean ‘doing something wrong’. I’m not saying that wrong is right, I’m saying that God rights wrongs. ‘Falling away’ is a faith issue, not a morality issue.
Here are some claims, made by God or by Jesus about God, that are hard to understand. These things mold and shape our perspective of God and if you do not acknowledge them, then you’ll have huge holes in your system of faith that will snag you and keep you from being ‘enlightened’, ‘tasting the heavenly gift’, ‘sharing in the Holy Spirit’, or understanding the ‘goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come’ enough to ‘share in them.’
If you do not understand the risks that God takes with us, then you will end up rejecting Him and will not see clearly enough to accept His grace and His purpose for your life. You will fail on the most elementary way and have no idea what you’re talking about when you’re ‘standing up for your faith’.
- In Genesis, God used the evil intent of Joseph’s brothers to save the lives of countless people, including Joseph’s brothers. (Genesis 50:20)
- In Exodus, God hardened Pharaoh’s heart so that he would abuse the Israelites more because He wanted the Israelites to know what they were being rescued from and the Egyptians to know that He was real when He showed up to destroy Pharaoh. (Exodus 4:21, 7:3, 9:12, 10:1, 10:20, 10:27, 11:10, 14:4, 14:8, and 14:17)
- In Luke 22, Jesus gave Satan permission to viciously attack Peter, cause him to deny Jesus, so that Peter would learn about the need for Jesus. (Luke 22:31-32)
- In Romans 11, God revealed that He gave His people a ‘spirit of stupor’ and made them blind to the truth because their failure would actually cause the salvation of those who would have never come otherwise. (Romans 11:8, 9-10)
- In John 11, Jesus purposely let Lazarus die, let him remain dead for four days, just so He could give everyone ‘new grounds for believing’ when He raised him from the dead. (John 11:14)
- In 1 Samuel, God put an evil spirit on Saul to torment him because it created a need for David in his presence. (1 Samuel 16:14, 18:10; 19:9; Judges 9:23)
- Finally, Isaiah 45, depending on your translation, says that God creates light and He creates darkness, He creates well being and calamity, He creates peace and He creates evil. Every passage ends the statement with “I, the Lord, do all these things.” He does them so that you can see Him. (Isaiah 45:7)
Every single one of these examples contradict the general belief that God only exists where it feels good. God, generally, is not acknowledged in the dark because the dark doesn’t fit on top of the doily we’ve created for our drugstore-Jesus-trinket shrine.
People want their God to be safe. They want Him to be their escape from the ‘real’ world. That’s all fine as long as your existence has no pain, no failure, no oppression, and nothing that completely derails everything you’ve ever planned for yourself. How in the heck do you join the ‘real’ (here-and-now human existence) world with the faith world unless you acknowledge that God is the God of all of it?
- Joseph’s family and countless others would have starved to death if Joseph’s brothers never acted on their evil intent.
- The Israelites never would have left Egypt if God did not make it so hard that their lives were in danger.
- Peter never would have the kind of faith needed to be ‘the rock’ if he did not know what it was to blatantly deny Jesus.
- You would not have the invitation to salvation if the Jews were not so blind that they rejected Jesus.
- None of us would know how far God would go to prove that Jesus was His son if Lazarus never died.
- Gods plan for David to be king would not have happened if Saul were not tormented by an evil spirit.
- God creates discord and He cleans it up so that you can see what He does.
If the God in the light is not the same God in the dark, then it’s no wonder people lock themselves into their cultish safe houses and kick out anyone who threatens their peaceful one-dimensional existence.
God does things to get you out of your box. He wants to be known and He takes some huge risks to pull that curtain aside to let you have a peek. The risks He takes will derail you, undo you, strip your masks, and make you face the reality of what you’ve put your faith in.
None of this makes sense nor is it possible without understanding the facts about Jesus. People assume that Jesus was an afterthought when ‘man fell’ and messed up our idea of ‘His perfect plan’. God is God. If He made a ‘perfect plan’ then there is no way you can mess it up. You need to know that His plan was to send His son to die for your sins. His plan was never to create a race of human beings who would never need Him.
Jesus was never an afterthought. Jesus was the reason we were created. We were created for God and His love. You should already know this. But, look at what Jesus says here:
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends…”-John 15:13-14
- All of the trouble you face is temporary and it serves a much bigger purpose.
- When someone hurts you, wait for the reason God allowed it. It could be what saves your life.
- When you mess up, be aware of your need for Jesus. Satan is on a short leash when it comes to how much he can mess with you. He’ll never win.
- When the people who should know better are so blind to grace that they refuse to acknowledge Jesus, it makes you dig deeper on your own because your eternal life depends on it. You can thank them for it. Or, better yet, you can thank God for allowing their lack of vision. They cut the umbilical cord between you and them and now you can have a direct line to God.
He tells you that He creates all of this because knowing it and believing it removes any excuse for you to give up on yourself or to give up on anyone else no matter what you or they have done. Knowing that God is the God of all of it sets you free to love. It’s uniting under one truth and it’s that one truth that you must understand.
The only way you can love the unloveable is if you can see Him in them. The only way you can see Him in them is if you know what He looks like. If you don’t know what He looks like, then you cannot do the one thing you have been called to do: LOVE. You can do a lot of other great things, but you cannot fulfill the your most important calling. That’s why you can claim Him your entire life, but still have zero relationship with Him. It’s all hopeless and meaningless without love. Stop looking at people and circumstances and start looking at God.
God created you for love. He created you so that He could lay His life down for you. He didn’t create you because He needed you, He created you to need Him. God is only Himself, which is Love. Jesus was planned first, you were planned after. Jesus had His purpose, to be the sacrifice for you, before the earth on which you walk even existed. You don’t mess anything up. You are part of a much, much bigger picture and until you can grasp the magnitude of a God who never has been and never will be limited by the choices you or someone else makes, then you will never know freedom, love, grace, and you will never really live.
But, once you do know these things, if you fail to acknowledge them, that is when you fall away. Sinning is when you conduct your life like Jesus wasn’t first in line and God is not in control. He came way ahead of you. We all hear this, but few actually get it. Once you do get it, though, it’s ‘impossible’ to go back to not knowing.
You can’t un-know what you know. But, refusing to acknowledge it is what ‘falling away’ means.
