I’m on chapter four of blogging through “Soul Bare”. This is my own chapter. I didn’t plan ahead enough to have someone write this for me. I’ll be writing about myself, so this will inevitably feel different than the others because I have more insight into my own head. I titled this chapter “Towers and Canyons”.
If you’re at all familiar with me as a writer, you know that my life, particularly my childhood, was not good. If you know me in real life, though, you know I’m a mom of four daughters, a busy hairdresser, and an organic “food as your medicine” advocate. I rarely talk about my childhood, my adoption, or my mistakes. I write about them. I don’t write about my personal life, my children, or my other passions. I live and enjoy them.
However, if someone in real life is struggling through one of the countless battles that life can wage against you, I’ll open up and share any insight I can. Some will seek me out because they’re aware of my depths. One of the things that I inevitably tell people is that our life is not an orderless bag of good times and bad times. It is an orderly timeline of events that are dependent upon one another. In this chapter, I call it “towers and canyons”.
“The sorrow is a vastness I don’t often visit, but my towers of joy are dependent on my canyons of sorrow. The paradigm of repentance is that one would not exist without the other” (page 33).
I started this blog in 2009, four years after my huge failure. I wrote as I healed and when I was overcome by passion. I advocated for the fallen, myself included. I’ve come to believe that our weapons should only be love and our wars should only be fought on the side of grace. Any other weapon and any other war is a distraction from our ultimate purpose: to be the body of Christ.
Now, in 2016, 11 years after my big failure, I can place it on the timeline of my life and see its necessity for my salvation. It was my own beliefs, and ultimate Unbelief, that led me to the point of sin and failure. If I had not fallen, my life would not have had to be rebuilt. It was built on lies before. It is built on truth now.
“Only God can take evil intent and turn it into the very thing that saved me” (page 34).
There is a bigger story that is taking place, with the details often outside the scope of your understanding. Give it some time. It won’t take long before you see that the canyons of sorrow that tear through your life are creating the strong foundation for the towers of joy that will sing through your soul.
Kris Camealy wrote the 5th chapter of “Soul Bare”. I’ll write my thoughts on her chapter, “Captivity”, next.