a hit too many

Posted: October 9th, 2012 | Filed under: life | Tags: | 11 Comments »

I think I took a hit too many. It’s been harder to bounce back and I’m not sure why. I guess I’m like everybody else and I forget the order of things. When I forget the order of things, people can hurt me.

The attack was crazy brutal. I don’t know how they get weapons that strong. I don’t fight like that. I refuse. Nice girls get their clothes stolen when they’re not looking. They have to run home naked and humiliated. How long was this planned? Somebody needs to burn down their fort.

Cain’s children are standing in the way, telling me it’s my offering that isn’t good enough. Too young, to broken, too much. An irretrievable mess and shame on me for believing them.

“…If anyone sins,…if it is the anointed priest who sins, thus bringing guilt on the people, then he shall offer for the sin that he has committed a bull…for a sin offering. And the anointed priest shall take some of the blood of the bull…, and the priest shall…sprinkle part of the blood seven times before the Lord in front of the veil of the sanctuary. And the priest shall put some of the blood on the horns of the altar of fragrant incense before the Lord that is in the tent of meeting, and all the rest of the blood of the bull he shall pour out at the base of the altar of burnt offering that is at the entrance of the tent of meeting.”Leviticus 4:2-7 ESV

Before Jesus came, people had to wait for a priest to sprinkle blood outside the sanctuary, on the alter, on the horns of the alter, and then dump the rest out at the base.

Before Jesus came, people had to wait for a priest. A person holier than them.
Before Jesus came, people had to appease other people before they could be forgiven.
Before Jesus came, people had to wait.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Jesus came.

“We landed on the moon!” -Lloyd Christmas

Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. -2 Corinthians 5:14-15 MSG

We don’t have to wait for a priest. Because Jesus leveled the playing field, there is no one holier than you. We don’t have to appease other people before we can be forgiven. Because of Jesus, our offering is already blessed. The blood has already been sprinkled, splattered, and poured out.

Because of Jesus, not one single person on the face of the earth can tell you that you and what you have to offer are not good enough. Everything has already been covered. You don’t have to find the blood, the blood has already flooded your house.

“[The blood] is on the alter before we bring the incense…” -Charles Spurgeon

Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?-Hebrews 2:1-3 ESV

Because of Jesus, “every transgression and disobedience has received a just retribution.”  When you forget the order of things (Jesus first), then you are an easy target.

You’re not waiting for the day of sacrifice before you can sleep on hope easy and start fresh. This is it. It all falls in line after Jesus, we’re not still waiting on a Messiah. When people tear you down and stand in your way, remember that it’s their own sin and doubt, not yours. They forgot the order of things.

How can you forget the blood at your feet?
How can you forget walking in your own sin?

I guess they haven’t looked at their feet in a while.

If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we’re in this with Christ for the long haul. -Hebrews 3:14 MSG

Grace Is For Sinners


11 Comments on “a hit too many”

  1. 1 Kelly Sauer said at 10:06 am on October 9th, 2012:

    It is Christ or nothing. He has brought you to my heart often lately, S. I am sorry I didn't tell you. Take the time you need to heal, to hide in Him who has made you His.

  2. 2 serenawoods said at 10:25 am on October 9th, 2012:

    Thanks, Kelly. It's been months, but I'm just now figuring out that my own stubbornness and strength won't get me through this one. 🙂

  3. 3 Rich said at 10:51 am on October 9th, 2012:

    Blessings as Jesus brings you healing. You may already know this, but it is worth considering.

    When people are physically hurt (as in hospital), it takes 7 days to recover for every day in bed. So a 7 day in the hospital/bed requires 49 days of recovery.

    In my own experience and three decades of pastoral ministry, I have discovered that spiritual attacks can take at least as long. And if the hits are multiplied or if one hit doesn’t get proper treatment and another put on top, then the time is longer, the cost even greater.

    Funny, but in the church we expect people to bounce back from spiritual issues thinking “it can’t be THAT bad.” Well, it can be and is that bad! God works through His Word, Lord’s Supper, etc.(i.e. Gospel) to bring true healing. It can’t be rushed, but needs consistent application, loving care, and protection.

    I am glad you are taking time to refresh yourself in the Lord. May God protect you, refresh you, and restore your strength.

  4. 4 serenawoods said at 1:22 pm on October 9th, 2012:

    Thanks, Rich. 🙂

  5. 5 Jeremy Walker said at 12:53 pm on October 9th, 2012:

    Serena, I can totally understand what you've been feeling. Being attacked by others because our past can suck beyond the telling of it. I tend to loose myself in these moments…I allow bitterness and hate to creep in…these emotions are so easy for me to express and drown in. But somewhere in the midst of my internal chaos God reminds me that to love is stronger. What an attacker might not understand now they will most likely understand later…or maybe they won't. In the end I guess it doesn't matter. I've come to learn that God is not as much concerned with my comfort as He is my character.

    How I choose to respond in times of attack speaks volumes of what's in my heart….and I long for people to see the true desires of my heart. God is inviting us daily to live a life that matters….no matter what our past may be.

    You're awesome Serena, and I really appreciate your heart. Keep your head up and take courage….God's not done with you.
    My recent post Looking Beyond The Question Mark???

  6. 6 serenawoods said at 1:27 pm on October 9th, 2012:

    Thanks, Jeremy. 🙂

  7. 7 Carol said at 1:47 pm on October 9th, 2012:

    Needed to be reminded of this today. Thank you!

  8. 8 Heather said at 10:00 pm on October 9th, 2012:

    Sigh. It was you that said if you are still here, there must be something more for you. God is not done. He will use everything, even this, to teach and grow.

    I am praying for you tonight. Praying that God would show Himself to you in a real tangible way that encourages your heart and renews your vision. Your blog has brought such clarity to me throughout the year. And ironically I learned the most from your words when my reputation and motives were viciously attacked. Blessings on your sweet heart for rest tonight.

  9. 9 Juliet deWal said at 1:35 pm on October 20th, 2012:

    Oh, my friend.
    "I think I took a hit too many. It’s been harder to bounce back and I’m not sure why…" so true of what happens when your heart is wide-open and giving and living and you forget to be careful with self.
    I love you and I hope things are far more gentle against your heart these days.
    My recent post how i spent my summer vacation

  10. 10 serenawoods said at 9:48 pm on October 21st, 2012:

    I have completely forgotten to be careful with self. I mistake the complete acceptance and love from God as also being extended by people who I thought/think are His. I suppose I have a choice. What I want is to create balance and I\’m not sure how to do that. I\’m all or nothing and I guess I need to figure out if that is healthy in the case of being open, or not. I\’m thinking not.

    Your kindness makes me cry. Which is the only thing, right now, telling me that I\’m still hurting. Kindness makes me feel like I don\’t have to be strong and I\’m so worn out from being strong that I\’m on the verge of collapse. Kindness makes me think I can collapse for a second.

    I wonder, can I get back up if I do?

    I\’ll fight tears until I know.

  11. 11 jodie dardeau said at 1:09 pm on December 5th, 2012:

    you write so beautifully… it gets right into the nucleus of each of my cells.

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