mouth of a sinner

Posted: December 30th, 2011 | Filed under: life | Tags: , , | 4 Comments »

What a hard road to trust in grace. Going against everything we know to be true about punishment, right and wrong, it is a real test to believe in the gift. It’s a love affair with the law that makes a marriage to Christ impossible.

It’s a crazy revelation to bleed the grace of Christ as though being abhorred was a requirement. The tongue that speaks of forgiveness is the same tongue that pulled in the lip of forbidden in the kiss of sin. The contrast is a testament and a challenge. The contrast reveals the false. If false your god, then that’s all you see.

Let the mouth of the sinner sing and ignore the screams accusing heresy.

The truth will not be muffled. Every good thing that is lost, let it be lost. If you don’t sing, the rocks will. Are you not smarter than a rock? Blood cries out from the ground. Why won’t you?

“Where truth is, the lie must flee; or, if it abideth, there must be a stern conflict, for the truth cannot and will not lower its standard, and the lie must be trodden under foot.” -Charles Spurgeon

She was telling her story. He saved her, He forgave her, and she was amazed. She knew how it sounded and she knew she had witnesses. But her witnesses denied what they saw for the sake of the punishment and she was alone. They called out to Him, “Rebuke her, Father.”

‘And he answered and said unto them, “I tell you that, if [she] should hold [her] peace, the stones would immediately cry out.’ -Jesus in Luke 19:40 KJV

“As long as I have breath to lift my voice…the rocks shall not cry out in my place.”



a dreamer or an idiot

Posted: December 29th, 2011 | Filed under: God, life | Tags: , | 2 Comments »

God calls you to do things that are impossible for you. If you don’t look at Him then your plans will swallow you whole. You’ll get stressed and overwhelmed. You’ll see how impossible it is. You’ll feel the distance between what you want to happen, what is happening, and your inability to jump the rift.

Sit and crunch the cost. You’ll become very aware that you’re setting yourself up for failure. Then God asks, “Why would you plan for failure?”

When you dream and take the steps to make it happen, you have to keep looking at God. You really can’t look at the task. Doing that will only remind you that you can’t do it.

It is faith that keeps you from drowning and you’re not the boss.

I am ready to throw in the towel every day. I have no problem shutting everything down , slipping away, and disappearing. As soon as I hear the word, I’m gone.

I am an ant using my little legs to dig a tunnel through a mountain of stone and it hurts. I’m not alone… one of millions. If ten are digging in one direction, three are standing around, four are telling us we’re in the way, and three are shoveling rocks back in the hole.

My eyes are focused on something beyond the obvious. The obvious is, I’m nobody. I can’t do anything. I’m a flushed goldfish that re-emerged in a rip-current and I’m not big enough to get myself out. I’ll either end up drowned on the beach, food for a bigger fish, or I’ll actually reach my destination.

When you throw in your lot with God, He’ll either show up or not. I’d rather know than always have questions.

I try to do things that I cannot do. I could be an fool. Sometimes I feel like one. But I’m curious. I want to know how everything works. I want to find as many obstacles as possible and figure why they’re there and how to get passed them

One thing I know: The rip current of God’s will is stronger than anything I could do. If I threw in my towel and tossed my toddler toy back where I found it, things would still end up exactly the way they’re supposed to.




approval for sale

Posted: December 27th, 2011 | Filed under: life | Tags: , | 19 Comments »

I come across some unfamiliar people and language out there in social media. For example, I once read a woman’s post that said she had to ‘go have intentional time’ with her husband. I couldn’t figure out if she just announced their naked time or if her relationship was so distant that she had to ‘intentionally’ make herself talk to him.

Either way, it was a bizarre mental picture she gave me. I wished she had kept it to herself. However, she was saying it in that way that a martyr announces to fellow martyr’s that it was her turn on the chopping block. She was looking for validation and for others to tell her that she was doing a good job.

It’s a sad thing to look for validation from a bunch of people. All they can do is blow smoke up your rear end and then hold the drug of public approval over you like a whip.

Everyone wants to look like everyone else and be the best ‘everyone else’ they can. I see the trends and the new phrases added to the repertoire, but I don’t know where any of it comes from. It seems like everyone reads the same books or listens to the same people, who ever is the coolest at the moment, and then takes their terminology and makes it the new ‘thing.’

“Blessed” people are ‘doing life’ with others, they’re doing things ‘well’, and they’re doing them ‘intentionally.’ Where do these things come from?

I read something in my social media feed that said something like this:

“I’m so blessed! My husband gave me the best present ever. He freed two sex slaves.”

It came with a picture of a certificate congratulating the recipient for being honored by the release of two sex slaves.

Are you freaking kidding me? What is this? Is this the new “I’m important!” thing?

I can’t figure out why it makes me sick to read this. I mean, there are several reasons, but I’m looking at it from a few different angles and something is wrong here.

My stream of consciousness went something like: Are you sure about that? How much did you pay for that piece of paper? How does someone even find this stuff? Is some sick freak out there marketing ‘feel good’ diplomas to rich American dummies? Did you see this on a late night infomercial? Where does the recipient of the certificate hang something like that?

If it’s even true, then how do they pick the girls to free? Is it like the reverse version of a slave auction? Do they check their muscle tone and teeth? Do they pick the ugly ones or the pretty ones? Do the girls know what is going on? Does some sweaty child molester pace in front of them, announcing a rich American woman’s birthday and force them to watch him size them up?

This is a 3D version of completely messed up. There is no way for the rest of the admiring world to know if these things are real, or how they are carried out. All they know is that a woman can say that she forwent a new Coach bag for the sake of a couple of lives. It just sounds like another way to make more money off of the very real and horrific problem.

They know you won’t buy them for sex, but maybe you’ll pay money to hear that they’re free?? Whatever makes you empty your pockets to feel good.

There are a lot of doors on this life journey. A lot of so-called shortcuts to holy importance, but they’re mirages. If you can sit around and feel awesome about your good deeds, then you’ve been lied to.

And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production … All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? -Matthew 6:5 MSG

I know a woman who will give you a gift and tell you how much it cost her to get it for you. She wants you to know how inconvenient it was so that you’ll appreciate it more. She thinks it makes the gift more special. What she doesn’t realize is that it doesn’t make anyone appreciate it more. It makes them think about the fact that the gift really isn’t worth the cost and it robs the value.

People just want to be validated and acknowledged for what they do, but as soon as you point to your own awesomeness, you poke holes in the sacrifice rendering it useless.

…and then Cain murdered Abel….

In an attempt to stand out above the rest, people will be pulled into all kinds of spiritual cons and traps of deception.

Don’t you think there are ‘get holy fast’ schemes just like there are ‘get rich fast’ schemes? Don’t be taken by the gas station taquitos when you’re on your way to a gourmet feast.

Beware of people who are showy in their flamboyant religiosity. There is a reason they’re cashing in right now. They don’t believe they’re actually going anywhere because they’re not.

Be careful of who you listen to. Some people can decorate their BS better than others.



Maybe I’m wrong and setting sex slaves free is a perfectly legitimate gift market (seriously, what the hell?)… but it sounds like a desensitized culture making desperate attempts to look like heros in the midst of their materialism. Ugh.


i want to go with you

Posted: December 22nd, 2011 | Filed under: life | Tags: , | 6 Comments »

She could see the distance in His eyes and it killed her. There was something calling Him away and His focus was on His good-bye’s and His final instructions for everybody. He met with people in secret rooms, on lonely walks, and on quiet dawn beaches. He was so different that it made Him unrecognizable. …until you looked Him in the eyes.

Part of Him was still there, but it was growing fainter and fainter. Her heart was breaking and it made her desperate. She held her breath to hide the sobs in her belly, squeezed her eyes to fight the sting. She knew she couldn’t make Him stay.

“I want to go with you.” She needed His eyes.

“You can’t. Not yet.” (John 13:33)

She sobbed. She knew He loved Her, He was looking at her now.

“I’m not leaving YOU, I’m leaving this MOMENT. I’m leaving this timeline of temporary.” (Hebrews 13:5)

He has talked like that the whole time she’s known Him. His thoughts would always go somewhere far away and He’d get this resolve and strength from some unreachable depth. It was His mystery. It was what drew people to Him.

She never knew where He went when His eyes looked beyond and His words became riddles. The group of us would hang on His stories and try with everything in us to understand. But it was so far beyond…we couldn’t reach it. (John 16:12)

He made us ache. He made us believe in this eternal ‘Something More”. He was moving further and further ‘beyond’ and she was clinging to His robe (Mark 5:28). She was pouring her perfume on Him (Matthew 26:7). Sobbing at His feet, she washed Him with her tears. Unable to look up, she dried His feet with her hair (Luke 7:38).

He was the only one who stood up for her. The only one would walk through the streets with her. He held her together when she was falling apart. He made the clenched fist of condemnation drop their stones (John 8:7). What would she do without Him? How was she going to survive this temporary without Him there with her?

Almost as though He could read her mind, He said, “It’s better for you if I go. The way things are right now, I can’t be with you every second. If I go, you can carry me inside you. Though you won’t see me, you’ll feel me closer than you do now. The distance that you feel when you look at me will be put inside you, a promise, …like a down payment. I’ll make you one with the distance, but it will no longer be distance. It will be expanse. It will be freedom. I’ll spread out in your heart so that you know I’m there. I’ll dance with your spirit so you can feel your heart skip with our music. When you interact with others, I’ll look back at you through their eyes. If I go, I’ll be everywhere. No longer bound by the stretch of flesh, I’ll fill the expanse and everywhere you look, you’ll be able to find me.” (John 16:7)

He made sure she was listening.

“I’m going away, but I’ll come back. I’ll get you out of here, but I have to prepare a place for you. I’ll make it perfect.” (John 14:3)

He paused to let her receive what He was really saying.

‘How long?” Would He come back tomorrow? Next week? A few years?

“I don’t know. The date is set, but I don’t know what it is (Matthew 24:36). My Father knows that I would probably tell you if I did, and for His reasons… you can’t know.”

Out of all the things He didn’t have an answer for….

“He doesn’t want you sitting by your window because you’re afraid that you’ll miss me. …You’re not going to miss me. You’re the reason I’m coming back.”

Her mind was fighting the peace His words created. He was making her feel okay with Him leaving and she didn’t want to give in. As though her refusal would make Him stay longer, just to talk her into it.

“There are others coming. There are more people who need to know who I AM.”

He paused, almost pained. “Do you love me?”

His words separated her flesh from her bones like a double edged sword.

“You know I love you.”

He made her look at Him. “Will you tell them about me?” (John 21:15)

It’s the work He started. He wanted the people who loved Him to continue it.

“Tell them I love them.” (John 13:34)

It’s their way to be together. It’s her way to honor what they have. He can’t be seen anymore…He went into the calling beyond, but He’s still here. He’s here in her, in you, and in them. When we talk about His love, we can almost smell Him again.

There’s a theory that a married man and woman start to look like each other over the course of the years. Maybe it’s because they’re so in love. Their eyes are filled up on the other so when the rest of the world looks at them, they see who they love. She blushes and smiles to herself. She has it figured out. He can’t be seen, but she can. Representing what they have together, it’s when she is loving the others that she looks the most like Him.







perfected in love

Posted: December 21st, 2011 | Filed under: life | Tags: , | 3 Comments »

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” -Romans 8:15

You’re a butterfly in the rain. The furious flutter to be is reduced to trying to survive the journey through the rain to get home. All the while the depth is tugging on you. “Come home.”

You’re here in the struggle, trying to make three stretch to five and to make Not Yet expand to content. “I’m trying.”

Fear is the dictator of your peace.

You want to get it right, but you don’t know how. ‘Don’t do that and don’t do this.’ A whole life of not doing what you’re not supposed to do. A slave.

You’re not an indentured servant, slaving to earn your freedom.

Jesus came to free you from weight on your wings.

…and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. -Hebrews 2:15

The weight is the law and you can’t earn your way. Trying is proof that you have not learned your lesson.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. -1 John 4:18

Perfected in love is a process brought on by your own failure. Don’t you see it? Failure has been repurposed. Don’t you know what it feels like to be rescued? Jesus tends to the fire starter while He lets the house burn to the ground.

‘Perfected in love’, means that you have nothing to fear. No punishment is awaiting your pathetic attempts. The bill collector isn’t calling to harass you, He’s calling to let you know that the debt has been satisfied. Stop avoiding Him. Stop living to ‘not sin’ and start living in freedom.

Freedom from fear. Perfected in love.

You think you can only answer when you have the payment. But, in that world, the debt accumulates interest and you’re getting further and further away from being able to answer. Don’t you know? You’ve been set free from that world.

Righteousness does not come from sweat. Righteousness comes from faith in Jesus.

Stop running. Nobody is chasing you.